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Jimi Izrael

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Jimi Izrael
Jimi Izrael is a culture-critic and award-winning journalist living in Cleveland, Ohio. He can be reched through his website, www.jimiizrael.com .

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Posted Friday, August 08, 2008 3:33 AM

Paris Hilton for President, Karrine Steffans for VP: That's The Ticket

izraelj

When a sex-tape debutante has the best, smartest energy plan in the country, over our candidates for the highest office of the land, well, it’s really time for them to just run for office or for all patriotic Americans to seriously consider Canadian citizenship. We knew Paris Hilton had herpes, but who knew her poli-sci chops were so sick? Maybe her and Karrine Steffans could run for office on the Sex Tape Skank ticket, with Kim Kardashian as Secretary of D'Butt. People are just making up tickets anyways.Think about it: rallies, fund-raising, viral ads? No problem. Cynthia “I’m Not Crazy” McKinney is running with someone who claims to be a rapper—why not Paris and Karrine? Is this America or am I taking crazy pills?

 

Paging Karrine: we know you have a lot of balls in the air right now and are busy stalking Eddie Winslow, but yo, you’re a role model to millions, I mean, what’s your take on the war in Iraq and foreign policy? Forget your sex-tape for a minute: how do you figure to bring Bin laden to justice?

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Permalink: http://blogs.theroot.com/blogs/thehardline/archive/2008/08/08/paris-hilton-for-president-karrine-steffans-for-vp-that-s-the-ticket.aspx
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Member Comments

Posted By: truthsayer73 (August 8, 2008 at 1:16 AM)

stop...LMAO...do you think Karrine would bite at your offer...I mean seriously...But I suppose this was for comic relief anyway...I overstand your cynicism....But Paris, Karrine, and the hysteria with the political and social scence within America speaks volumes to what's to come in the near future....I mean it's only gonna get worse, before it get better....Im sure you're ready

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Posted By: SilenceISGolden (August 8, 2008 at 8:47 AM)

No BS,  Paris has a solid game plan.  I wonder if McCain will leave the pill popper for the Hotel heiress.

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Posted By: rainydaiyz (August 8, 2008 at 10:08 AM)

you are sick. i'm no paris hilton fan, but this post is degrading to women. all women. you even disrespect Cynthia Mc Kinney. We lost melissa lacewell and are left with this crap?

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Posted By: izraelj (August 8, 2008 at 10:50 AM)

Rainydayz, I'm not above criticism of any kind: it doesn't have to be rational, but it has to be reasonable. At great risk to my sanity, I'm going to give your criticism it's due, but you have to flesh out an argument for this idea that this post is "degrading to women--all women." I've grown kind of weary of these claims of misogyny, because, in truth, there is no defense against them. But instead of dismissing them, I'd rather you made your case. This is satire. You seem to want to make a serious point. I'm here to help. This shouldn't be a compare and contrast, rather, a criticism based on the merits.

So, by all means, have at it. Others should feel free to jump in.

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Posted By: tayja76 (August 8, 2008 at 11:10 AM)

Raindaiyz, in defense of Izrael. Paris did not even write her comeback to McCain although I have to give her credit for hiring writers to give her the perfect comeback to McCains slap to her and her family, especially after her mother and father donated to his campaign.

Also look at this way Paris and Karrine are not women we should hold up to a stature of admiration although many little girls still think they should be. So should we be mad at Izrael for pointing it out or mad at Karrine and Paris although they live in celebrity world for living their lives in ways that make their grandmothers wince?

Anyway I think Paris and Karrine are strong enough to fight their own battles, just ask Paris's writers. So we can put our sisterhood swords down on this one.

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Posted By: ch555x (August 8, 2008 at 11:48 AM)

No crazy pills needed...this IS Amerika.  They either underachive due to religion, neo-conservative views, and greed or overacheive with ***, ignorance, and inflated liberal views leaping past insanity.  

OTOH, I thought Paris already selected Rihanna as veep...it's LOL either way!!!

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Posted By: ProfChris (August 8, 2008 at 11:49 AM)

Look, I've met more folk at bookfairs who know 100 times more about Karrine Steffans and her fellatio customers than they do about Zora Neale Hurston, so your idea ain't as satirically foul as it sounds. Some young white guy at  VH1 is likely cooking up a reality show based in DC on this very premise.

Seriously, this Paris thing shows that McCain and Barack are more interested in not losing and playing to certain demos than winning and serving the commonweal. That does the nation no good when a skuttle (West Indian vernacular) or plonker (Brit slang) like Paris makes bolder statements than the candidates.

Interesting how the Glenn Beck and Hannity types, in their quest to keep the 40% of dehard NASCAR dads, Wal mart moms and crewcut folk from breaking rank for a Democrat, have ignored this "story," as it affects McCain more than anyone.

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Posted By: JStuart (August 8, 2008 at 3:16 PM)

Hey, didn't Bin Laden say he had a thing for Whitney Houston? Maybe Karrine can pull out a can of ....

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Posted By: rastaman (August 8, 2008 at 3:36 PM)

ProfChris  that my man is a "skettle" but I get the idea.  

But prostuting oneself is a built in pre-requisite of being a succesful politician, so them dames would have the game down pat already.  Its never mysogny to discuss the morals of women with questionable morals.  When did speaking the truth rise to the level of an unfair slur?

But I have to agree that Ms. Hilton did deliver her "energy policy" a lot more clearly than either Obama or McCain which if you look at it makes this even more ridiculous than it already is....

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Posted By: SilenceISGolden (August 9, 2008 at 6:05 AM)

Let it begin with Paris.... Isn't that how another war started.  Maybe we are more civil now.   Let it go Karrine... find the beauty within you sister.  Respect yourself.  16 days of peace please

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Posted By: womanistmusings (August 9, 2008 at 6:14 PM)

all patriotic Americans to seriously consider Canadian citizenship.

You are assuming that we would welcome you with open arms.

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