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Jimi Izrael

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Posted Thursday, July 31, 2008 6:42 PM

Ten Useful Ways America Could Apologize For Slavery

izraelj

I long ago came out against any apology for slavery, mainly because it would serve no useful purpose. But I’ve come up with Ten Useful Ways America Could Apologize For Slavery.

 

1.       1. Danish: Nothing says “I’m sorry” like a sweet-roll. Or a fresh crueller.

2.      2. White Slavery Month: Every white person over the age of five will be compelled into slavery for 30 days. Working at WalMart wouldn’t count.

3.       3. Drop Squad 2.0: Just like Spike Lee’s film, except white people get yoked off the street, re-educated and thrown back on the curb. Think “A-Team” as diversity trainers.

4.       4. Racism Threat Level Updates: Just like Homeland Security’s terrorist threat level system, you could get off a plane and know the level of racism in any given city.

5.       5. Black Friend for Dinner Week: White people have to sit down with their black friend and break bread. Mailroom clerks and garbage men would not rank as ‘friends.’

6.       6. Racial Draft:  Black folks get to definitive claim previously white people with black characteristics, as well as disown trifling Black people.  For example, I’d gladly trade Kim Kardashian for Khia.

7.       7. Macbook: Actually, no. Macbook Pro, for all Black folks. With upgrades for life.

8.       8. No more Adam Sadler movies.

9.       9. A nice Ziggy card might do the trick. What ever happened to Ziggy anyways?

10.   Real seasoning in Tony Roma’s Ribs. Seriously.


Do you have any ideas that are missing from this list? Write them below.

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Member Comments

Posted By: marciamarciamarcia (July 31, 2008 at 11:15 AM)

11. Banning "You go, girl!" from any White woman's or White gay male's lexicon. ad infinitum.


Posted By: ch555x (July 31, 2008 at 11:17 AM)

One useful way would be for whites to live for a month classified as a "minority".  Let them have only 2 or so TV channels dedicated to their so-called needs while we can just casually take for granted the other several hundred channels spreading a wide variety of options.  

Move some of the whites from their McMansions to the Appalachians to get a real glance at their outcasted brethren.

Bombard whites, blitzkrieg style, with falsehoods, lies, and half-truths concerning their lifestyles then give them 5-10 minute soundbites to repudiate all of them on a minority-owned Faux News Channel..."we'll do it live...f@#! it!!!"


Posted By: bombthesuburbs (July 31, 2008 at 11:31 AM)

Banning white folks with dreadlocks.  From everything.

Banning the mainstream media from talking about "real" hip-hop and other bullshit

No more Neighborhood Safety Zones (see Trinidad neighborhood in DC)

Oh yeah, and then there's prison abolition, fighting gentrification, granting (truly) universal healthcare, stopping the neoliberal globalization agenda, education around actualization and consioucness rather than economic functionality and moving into a postcolonial society and culture.  Hmm . . .


Posted By: billavery (July 31, 2008 at 12:00 PM)

I was was under the impression that the Civil War and the 14th admendment (The 14th Amendment abolished slavery) was enough.  I feel that apologies should come from Africa and Europe as well.


Posted By: justawhiteguy (July 31, 2008 at 12:00 PM)

Wow, sounds kind of like, "Rants and raves", on Craigslist.

"Sound and fury signifying nothing"

Can we please get to work improving ourselves and stop worrying about others?  Forget my vocabulary, you have no right to claim words or phrases as your own.  Forget how I wear my hair, WTF?, do you really care if some kids chooses one hairstyle over another?

Don't pretend that whites never have to face situations in which they are the minority.  Here is a thought, when we do face such a situation, we change our environment and move.

I'm not suggesting that you (blacks) should move, certianly not saying you should go back to Africa, what I am saying is that the population of the US is about 15% African American.  That is nobodies fault.

Fact is I'm from inner city Detroit and if you think that I am not in the minority when I go home, if you think that I do not face predgudices and racism.  Think Again.


Posted By: greenie227 (July 31, 2008 at 12:15 PM)

Regarding #2, how is that an apology to Black people who moved to this country after slavery was abolished? Who have no connection to slavery in this country? And what about those of us who moved here running from our own forms of slavery and persecution elsewhere, who arrived after slavery was abolished, and whose ancestors marched in civil rights marches, although they were white, Jewish, and since then spit on and reviled by Black people?


Posted By: kaninchen (July 31, 2008 at 1:57 PM)

I wouldn't mind seeing white folks a) understanding that unearned privilege exists and b) they benefit from it.  You, justawhiteguy, and you, greenie227, and me, kaninchen, and every other white person all have advantages that brown people do not, largely as a result of four hundred years of slavery and another hundred-some of institutionalized racism.  You benefit, and I benefit, and that makes US responsible for erasing the inequalities that still persist.  That you don't understand this is a result of your deliberately chosen ignorance.


Posted By: stevebiko (July 31, 2008 at 2:02 PM)

11. free swimming lessons

12. proportional representation. (see lani guinier).


Posted By: soulful (July 31, 2008 at 2:36 PM)

Damn, Jimi. Mailroom clerks and garbage men are men not worthy of friendships? You poor, irritating soul.


Posted By: MEKHIA81 (July 31, 2008 at 2:39 PM)

11) FREE COLLEGE TUTION/ TRUE ACCESS TO ADEQUATE EDUCATION!!


Posted By: aine (July 31, 2008 at 3:02 PM)

Okay,  so where do I mail the danish?

I have a question for anyone who's lived outside the states as well. After being told in college by other white people (Irish and French, mostly) that I am inherently more racist than they are because I'm an American, I want to know, is this country in general more racist/ a worse place to be anything but white? Specifically, the East Coast, if that helps narrow things down.


Posted By: BortimusPrime (July 31, 2008 at 4:16 PM)

I'll apologize for slavery when blacks apologize for making a sitcom starring Flavor Flav.


Posted By: appleprecious (July 31, 2008 at 5:52 PM)

to bortimus prime white people made that show  who exactly do you think vh1 is run by.  flavor of love is just one of many vh1 shows showing someone making a fool of themselves but then again so is rock of love tila tequila etc. the reason flavor of love gets so much negative attention is because there is no balance in the the media flavor of love is an extreme that has no counterpart


Posted By: RandiPie (July 31, 2008 at 6:01 PM)

I would like to thank Jimi Izrael. I just recently found this website and it's been totally eye opening.

I won't lie and pretend that just because I'm open minded and a liberal that I don't benefit from passive racism. Every single white person in this country has countless advantages because of our racist infrastructure. Also, I won't pretend that many times when I am reading your articles that I don't find myself getting totally outraged over things you have said. (For Example, the article about Ask the White Folks) but then I quickly remember that even if I do disagree with things you say, you make me think about things that I've never confronted before. Also, I usually come around to (mostly) agreeing with you.

But I've got a question: I have "White Guilt". I can't help it. It's not even just slavery. Anglo Saxons have pretty much made it a point to push around every group of people they come across. I did not personally participate in slavery or the slaughter of Native Americans (among innumerable other atrocities) but when I hear people talking trash about white people, I can't think of a single reason to defend my race. Isn't "White Guilt" just being honest and having some sense of that way things truly are?


Posted By: Craig (July 31, 2008 at 8:28 PM)

There is no need for an apology after O.J.'s acquittal.


Posted By: proudblackdad (July 31, 2008 at 10:02 PM)

How about banning the phrase, "you're bright, you're articulate...BUT" from the workplace vernacular for good?

http://askyourdaddy.blogspot.com/


Posted By: stevebiko (July 31, 2008 at 11:41 PM)

PROUDBLACKDAD:

                                hahaahahaahaahaha!good one.


Posted By: bryony1 (August 1, 2008 at 1:27 AM)

"5.       5. Black Friend for Dinner Week: White people have to sit down with their black friend and break bread. Mailroom clerks and garbage men would not rank as ‘friends.’ "

Why wouldn't they "rank as 'friends' "? I'm sure whites could learn a lot more about what it's like to be black in this country from these people than from academicians and politicians.


Posted By: robin85 (August 1, 2008 at 5:07 AM)

That is a really funny list! At least, I hope you're not (completely) serious...

1. just plain funny!

2. Most people I know don't know what it's like personally to be a slave (not counting Wal-Mart).

5. You got something against garbage men?

8. Sandler is a racist pig after all...

10. Tony Roma?... the guy's Italian, right?  Go down to Broward County, Florida and you'll find old guys in their backyards cooking up the best ribs and corn on the cob you've ever had... And selling it on the street to passersby!

...

My shortlist:

1. Land - property that your ancestors actually worked on would be nice... The entire American South, for example.

2. Money - from the government to decendants of slaves, just like Germany has been doing for the decendants of Jewish people - or a MacBook Pro. And all those white people in the South can start paying rent.

3. Casinos - why should Native Americans have all the fun?

bombthesuburbs has a good list going as well... well, except the dreadlocks/personal freedom issues - you can't fight discrimination on the one hand and then ban a certain people from dressing or acting a certain way - regardless of how ridiculous they might look doing it...


Posted By: skegee45505 (August 1, 2008 at 8:07 AM)

Stop saying you are not racist month - none of that I don't care if "they are black, white, red, brown or green" stuff.  Saying green gives you away since there are no green people.  Unless we want to count McCain who is turning green with envy over the support Obama has.  Ok I digress.


Posted By: dr spaceman (August 1, 2008 at 8:16 AM)

11. No more trying to get black people to start saying "the N-word" just because whites are jealous that they can no longer use the word they made up for us in public. Get over it.

12. A ban on all white folks' whining about so-called political correctness. Aka, the how-come-its-no-longer-okay-for-us-to-be-openly-racist? rule (related to, but broader than rule no. 11).


Posted By: Zion (August 1, 2008 at 8:23 AM)

Ending white man's affirmative action (Legacy programs)....I would love that sort of repentance.  


Posted By: sweetreggie (August 1, 2008 at 10:42 AM)

Banning McDonald's advertisements marketed to the "urban" population. Killing off black folks by obesity is, if you think about it, sort of the opposite of an apology.


Posted By: jusanuthabrotha (August 1, 2008 at 10:48 AM)

Get Ward Connerly, J.C. Watts and their white friends to wear hankies on their heads and serve free meals in the ghettos across America for 40 years.


Posted By: miss lauren (August 1, 2008 at 10:50 AM)

I have to defend my fellow New Hampshire native and say Adam Sandler is a product of his environment, NH is a very racist state and the fact that he can make a movie like "Spanglish" while not addressing black issues is still addressing minority issues when in Southern NH most people hate hispanics for the same reason southern whites hate blacks (work for lower pay, do better jobs, are harder workers which makes whites look bad) Adam Sandler is one of the few who has progressed from a backwards vanilla society where a KKK memeber was the sheriff of a major historic town (in the past 30 yrs) to being fairly educated.


Posted By: Kiplyn (August 1, 2008 at 11:47 AM)

Apologize by doing away with payroll taxes for all African American descendents of slaves....a lifetime of no payroll taxes would assist in creating more wealth in the African American community at every level.  FREE college would also be a great idea!

Words without actions do not an apology make!  The US should want to make amends!

OBAMA O8!


Posted By: Raym5112 (August 1, 2008 at 3:08 PM)

Allow Michael Eric Dyson to host the O'Reilly Factor for 6 months.


Posted By: JStuart (August 1, 2008 at 3:38 PM)

Letters of Transit for any Black man pulled over by racially profiling police officers. Said driver would just produce the letter, (signed by the Governor of your state) when stopped by any police officer and then be allowed to go on his merry way!


Posted By: soulful (August 1, 2008 at 3:58 PM)

"Banning McDonald's advertisements marketed to the "urban" population. Killing off black folks by obesity is, if you think about it, sort of the opposite of an apology."

Absolutely dead on... McDonald's AND Nike; one step forward, two steps back.


Posted By: hustleandfloe (August 1, 2008 at 4:39 PM)

Jimi:  Great to see this blog.

I think I even remember your thoughts on some of this from Africana.com.  In light of this latest "apology" like no other state apology, I thought I'd republish an article of mine that ran on Africana.com as well.

Two Times Faux is Faux

http://ericjhenderson.wordpress.com/2008/08/01/hf-0025-essay-two-times-faux-is-faux/

Much peace.

eric j henderson

p.s. not mad at the #7 Blacbook Pro idea...


Posted By: IChecked57 (August 2, 2008 at 11:56 AM)

Apology NOT accepted.  Too little, too late.  And.......I will never forget....


Posted By: LANEJARSONBECK (August 2, 2008 at 3:36 PM)

white slavery? DOES THIS INCLUDE THE WHITES AFRAID TO WALK IN THEIR OWN PARKS AT NIGHT BECAUSE OGF THE SEEDY ELEMENT THAT ENCROUCHED THEIR PEACEFUL LIFE STYLE THROUGH THE GUISE OF FAIR HOUSING.  DOES THIS INCLUDE THE DRUG ADDICTS- WHO AS FAR AS I CAN SEE HAVE BEEN SLVAES AS LONG AS THEIR FRST FIX.  

i'M SORRY BUT I GAVE MY GUILT IN 1974-1976- TO ME THE ISSUE IS DONE- WHEN WILL BLACK COMMUNITIES FINALLY ADMIT PIMPS ARE PARASITES THAT NEED TO DIE FOE PRESENT DAY SLAVERY OF ALL RACES??   THIS IS AMRERICA- BE GLAD YOU ARE HERE NOW YOU HAVE THE OTION TO BECOME GREAT OR REST ON THE LAURELS OF SLAVERY AS YOUR WELFARE CHECK TO SELF PITY.  BY THE WAY I USED TO LOVE ZIGGY COMICS MYSELF- NOW I AM A SLAVE TO HERMAN


Posted By: ladyluv24 (August 2, 2008 at 3:46 PM)

I am sooo tired of hearing about America and slavery..All races at one time have been slaves. A lot of black men use slavery as a crutch for being lazy insufficient BUMS..I am a single Black woman who takes care of her children without the help of a Black man. I work hard everyday..Who should apologize??? The people who had slaves are dead and stinking...Im not saying let's forget about our history theres other issues happening now we need to talk about and resolve...


Posted By: WBFO (August 2, 2008 at 3:57 PM)

Apologize for slavery??? Who should do that?? What american citizen is a slave? If we're going to apologize for slavery, then everyone should apologize to everyone. Read your history. There isn't one country or nation that hasn't had it's people under slavery. To the conquering nation goes the spoils. The men were worked to death and the women were raped. This is what humans have done and still do in parts of this world. It doesn't happen in America. Free college??? You have to go to elementary school and then high school first . We already have free education. It's called the public school system. In order for it to work you have to show up and participate. You have to let the teachers teach. You have to ask for help. You have to do homework. You have to give back by helping those who can't. You have to give...and stop taking. You are owed nothing financially without contributing. You can change the world by changing yourself first. Stop pointing the finger and start looking in the mirror. Reparations??? Give me a break.


Posted By: mrstreehugger (August 2, 2008 at 3:57 PM)

WHY DO YOU KEEP LIVING IN THE PAST?  THAT GENERATION IS ALL BUT GONE.  I DON'T OR ANYONE ELSE I KNOW OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!  YOU HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET AN EDUCATION, HAVE A CAREER, OR SOME SORT OF EMPLOYMENT AND ADVANCE IN LIFE.  BUT IN THE SOUTH, ALL I SEE IS PEOPLE WALLOWING IN SELF MADE PITY BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO LAZY TO GET AN EDUCATION. THEY HAVE HAD ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES I HAVE HAD.  INSTEAD, A WHOLE GENERATION OF YOUNG PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO EDUCATION DON'T WORK,CAN'T WORK BECAUSE THEY CAN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH CORRECTLY, (DON''T GET ME STARTED ON EBONICS, YOU ARE AMERICANS, MOST OF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU CAME FROM) BELONG TO A GANGS BECAUSE THERE IS NO HOME OR FAMILY LIFE BUT YET HAVING AS MANY BABIES AS THEY CAN SO THEY GET MORE MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT.  SORRY?   YOU ALL SHOULD BE SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!    


Posted By: Anefba (August 2, 2008 at 4:00 PM)

Why an apology?  I've never been a slave and neither were my parents.  How many generations removed do we need to be before we quit blaming our social issues on others and just accept the fact that a lot of our issues are of our own making?  Why are we African Americans?  I'm not from Africa, I'm from New Jersey.  My parents weren't born in Africa and neither were their parents.  My friends are not Irish Americans or Italian Americans.  They are simply Americans.  Regardless of the manner we arrived here, we are here and this is our home.  Blaming a society that existed more than 200 years ago for today's issues is a waste of time and energy.  Quit acting like the rest of the world owes anybody anything and get on with it.


Posted By: webwathcher (August 2, 2008 at 4:11 PM)

I am like kid rock,  tired of people trying to make me feel guilty for being white.  In this ocuntry the majority of people in poverty (simply number wise, not percentage) are white.  Wanna come up with 10 useful things america can do, start with the house and senate, Like 10 reasons they should have stayed in session and voted on items that could help all colors with our live here in the U.S.  Or better yet, u like apoligies, have the house show us 10 ways they could apoligize for not stepping up to the plate to help all of us, not matter what color we are.  In a nutshell apologies for this country have been laid down by young men (white, black, green, whatever) to make our country free by giving their lives for our futures, not our past.


Posted By: jal55 (August 2, 2008 at 4:18 PM)

How about a free plane or boat ride back to Africa? Make some room for the people who are dying to get to this country. LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!


Posted By: q_petals (August 2, 2008 at 4:25 PM)

I appreciate a forum being provided to discuss the reactions to the "apology." Of greater concern though, should be " what are African American''s going to do with it and any restitution that follows. "PRIDE" points out the significance of African Americans caring enough about themselves and not waiting on someone else to do it. The fact that this nation was built on the perserveance, strength and pride of AA's reveals not that we cant take responsibility for our success and failures but rather will we? This  "apology" should be considered nothing more than another opportunity  for AA's  to advance our heritage, influence, therbye leaving our thumbprint on the pages o f time. Besides,  If it took thi s long to get a _ apology- I wouldnt waste valuable time waiting on the restitution. If it comes -fine- I will be first in line. If it doesnt - I will get it anyway through hardwork, actualizing my dreams and visionI by means of the legacy left to me by my forefathers and mothers: Madam  Walker.


Posted By: guncollector (August 2, 2008 at 4:36 PM)

the 12fth way: For all those who insist on being called AFRICAN-AMERICANS:  BUY THEM A ONE WAY TICKET TO NIGERIA.   There they can become millionaire SCAMMERS and sit in front of a computer all day sending out Emails to dumb WHITEBREADS , asking them to:  "PLEASE ACCEPT $25,000,000.00 that I stole from the Black Gold Oil Company".    


Posted By: guncollector (August 2, 2008 at 4:38 PM)

the 12fth way: For all those who insist on being called AFRICAN-AMERICANS:  BUY THEM A ONE WAY TICKET TO NIGERIA.   There they can become millionaire SCAMMERS and sit in front of a computer all day sending out Emails to dumb WHITEBREADS , asking them to:  "PLEASE ACCEPT $25,000,000.00 that I stole from the Black Gold Oil Company".    


Posted By: ctafel (August 2, 2008 at 4:49 PM)

How about we stop finding excuses for a society that has looked for someone (government) to take care of them?  Education, self respect and hard work goes a long way.  Coming from Detroit seeing the lack of responsibility for peoples actions, teenage pregnancy and fathers not being fathers, I am sick and tired of hearing the race card and the blame put on slavery.  I have had this discussion with a couple friends (Afr. American) and they are angry with the their race and the lack of role models.  My father grew up in Saginaw Michigan.  This is a very blue collar union town.  He had no family financial support but worked 6 months so he could go to college for a semester and then repeat.  His old street has been taken over by crack houses and gangs.  Non of them are white.  We had to move my grandmother out because she was the target of attacks.  My friend Kevin (black) got an in and government financial support for MSU 4 year tuition.  Grades?  Not even close.  Athlete? Nope.  Color of skin?  You got it.  So don't tell me that African American's do not have options.  What you simply need to do is to not take the easy option and work to make a better life.  


Posted By: kiplingway (August 2, 2008 at 4:54 PM)

it funny how i should be responsible for something i had nothing to do with, nor did my parents, or my grandparents.  Gee how many things should i be responsible for that have nothing to do with me.  I think half the problem is the attitude of people like the writer.  I have no problem with anyone of any nationality.  I would rather be friend with someone who takes responsibility for thier own life and does thier best to better themselves than someone who always thinks its someone else's fault for what they have made of their life.


Posted By: shitsandgiggles (August 2, 2008 at 5:06 PM)

*** OWNERS MANUAL

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new ***! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR ***.

You should install your *** differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your *** to another *** immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your *** can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck ***. If your *** is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their *** hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for *** hoes. These names go straight over your ***'s head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR ***

Owing to a design error, your *** comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh ***" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your ***'s tongue. Once de-tongued your *** will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the ***'s). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

HOUSING YOUR ***.

Your *** can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of *** food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot *** cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a *** cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your *** fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your *** is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your *** is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR ***.

Your *** likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your *** will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced *** owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the *** cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your *** meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a *** to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR *** WORK.

Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The ***'s most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your *** to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your *** into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your *** will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your *** to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your *** comes equipped with the standard *** IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR ***.

Your *** enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling *** works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your ***'s pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your *** will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the ***: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a ***.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) *** dragging: Tie your *** by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your ***'s shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the ***, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the ***, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your *** out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the ***: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a ***, as they are highly toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS.

Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your ***. The police will collect the *** and dispose of it for you.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS - MY *** IS VERY AGGRESIVE

Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity ***? What are we, short of niggers or something?

MY *** KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN

They all do this. Shorten your ***'s chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

WILL MY *** ATTACK ME?

Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why *** uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

MY *** bitches ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RACISM".

Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the *** up.

MY ***'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR. - WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A ***?

A ***'s skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the *** your *** is full of. This is why some models of *** are sold as "The Shitskin".

MY *** ACTS LIKE A ***, BUT IS WHITE.

What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE?

They're as common as dog *** and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a ***. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

MY *** SMELLS REALLY BAD

And you were expecting what?

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD ***?

When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead *** storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.


Posted By: shitsandgiggles (August 2, 2008 at 5:12 PM)

just for jokes, nothing personal, you were talking about slavery and all.....


Posted By: shitsandgiggles (August 2, 2008 at 5:12 PM)

and dont make fun of the white man


Posted By: themarigolden (August 2, 2008 at 5:13 PM)

You can't apologize for slavery, you have to own it (I have to own it) and understand how it has impacted, brutally, the culture of 30% of the American population, regardless when or how they got here. Slavery has existed in every culture on the planet, to be sure, but it happened as an institutionalized economic agency in this country at its founding, scarcely 12 or 15 generations ago.Culture moves very slowly despite how it looks, beliefs die hard. Racism is different every where you go, depending on the economic history of the place and the degree of identifiable differences from the dominate culture. OK then, ultimately everyone is a little racist ( or a lot) now we, Americans, need to accept it, own it, change it. It is time to evolve and be humans. Really.


Posted By: q_petals (August 2, 2008 at 5:26 PM)

"Shitsand ?" Who's laughing?


Posted By: Big C (August 2, 2008 at 5:26 PM)

WaaaWaaaWaaa. I would be more angry with the ancestors who sold me ....that was the ultimate betrayal. Check out African Slave Trade history. It wasn't like the opening scene of Roots at all.


Posted By: nyjax28 (August 2, 2008 at 5:37 PM)

11. Bannining any black used-to-be celebrities or wannabe celebrties (hello Flava Flav an Omirosa) from appearing in reality TV programs or for that matter, being allowed anywhere near a live camera or microphone.


Posted By: roz (August 2, 2008 at 5:52 PM)

I just cant stand it any more look all around the world and just try to find a country that is run by blacks with an all black population that is prospering look hard but you wont find one. Is that the white mans fault Who sold you in to slavery It was other blacks Where was your race as far as advancing i will tell you no where your race didnt even have a wheel not clothes not any type of advancement att all Ask your self a question would you rather live here or africa where you are slaughtering one another and starveing to death wait a minute thats just how you live here Lets see what has the black race given us lately that filth rap drive by shootings selling crack on MLK bvld Look in the mirror there is your problem NO ACOUNTABILTY just blame whitey


Posted By: Soul (August 2, 2008 at 6:26 PM)

Wow...  Are You Guys Done Yet?  I Thought This Was An Intelligent Web Site, But I Guess Ignorance Can Be Found Anywhere...

Ladyluv24.  You Do Need To Learn Your History, And You Need To Understand The "Real World" Of A Black Man, Not The Ones That You Hear About While You Watch "Friends" On Television.  I Hope You Got A Brownie Point From Your "White" Friends, Because After That Statement, You Should Be Ashamed To Even Associate With An African American Person.  As Far As The Rest Of You (WBFO, MRS.Treehugger, Webwatcher Etc...) Your Ignorance Is So Far Off Base, It Is Not Even Worth Trying To Explain Anything To You At All...  Stay Hidden In Your Gated Off Suburbs And Continue To Pretend That You Are Such A Great Person, And Your Race Does Not Have Anything To Do With Your Lot In Life....

Please.  I Have Also Climbed The Social Ladder, And Unlike The "Wanna Be" Proud Black Americans, I Will Not Say That I Did It On My Own.  I Had A Lot Of Help From Other Races Along The Way, And Without Them, I Would Not Have The Education Or Ability To Write You This Responce. So There Are Good People Of Every Race, Color And Creed, But There Are Also Bad...

So Let's Take It To The Roots...  

African Proverb:  If You Ask For Something And It Is Refused To You, That Is An Insult.  If When They Noticed They Have Hurt You, And They Then Try To Give It To You, It Is Double The Insult".

I Will Take It One Step Further.  If When They Notice It Is An Issue With You, And They Still Completely Ignore It...  Then They Not Only Insulted You, They Don't Get A Sh*t, And You Should Not Respect That Person What So Ever, Because They Do Not Respect You Or Your Feelings...

That Is My Take On An "Apology" From America On Past Trangressions...  Forget It.  Don't Want It.  Yes, We Will Make It On Our Own Without Your Hand Outs, Or Apologies.  But To See That You Cared, Would Have Only Made Us Closer As A Country.  And Who Cares Who Did It, It was Done As A Whole, In A Systematic Fashion.  Generations Of Americans Prospered Off The Backs Of Slaves, And Banks And Businesses That Still Exist Today Were Created Because Of It, So Do Not Tell Me That It Was Years Ago, The Effects Are Still Present Today...  Do You Think That White America And Europe Got Everything They Have And The Large Advantage Over Other Races Because Of Genes And Intelligence?  Please.  You Used Violence And Slavery...  If All Races Started Completely Equal, And Black America Fell Behind, Then Shame On Us, But The Race Of The Races Was Never A Fair Race...  So Get Off Your High Horse And Learn Something...  Anything...

As Far As Drugs And Thugs...  Okay, Have You Looked At The Meth Problem In America?  How About The Prescription Drugs....  Shootings In Schools...  I Think The "White" Race Leads In All Catagories...  And I Hate To Say, You Guys Didn't Learn Anything From Crack.  You Just Made Your Own, And Took It To Another Level, But You Will Never Hear About It As You Did With Crack...  Why?  Because It's Little Johnny, And His Dad Is A Lawyer, And His Granddad Is A Judge....  You Get The Picture... And As For You Mr. Sh*t...  Your Name Speaks For Itself.

Peace To All...

Soul.  


Posted By: BackToReality (August 2, 2008 at 7:01 PM)

First of all, slavery was a human problem, not merely a white American one. For example, over 1 million whites were sold into slavery in Africa between 1500 and 1900. You can read about it in the book "White Gold" by Giles Milton. When do YOU (and your equally loathsome and braindead sycophants on this board) plan on APOLOGIZING for that, Jimi?

Second, if we're going to buy into your ridiculous notion of permanent collective guilt by virtue of race, permit me to remind you also the millions of people (of every color) have had their lives blighted (and ended) by black criminals: an occurrence that, unlike American slavery, did not end in 1865. When do YOU plan on PAYING reparations for all that, Jimi?

Finally, if your life here is REALLY so bad, if whites are really the racist demons that you and the other inveterate whiners here claim we are, when do you plan on LEAVING Jimi? I'll help you pack and you won't be missed.

If hypocrisy and ignorance were crimes, you and others like you would be death row.  


Posted By: HalfnHalf (August 2, 2008 at 8:17 PM)

Stop trying to pity yourself and your race.  The fact is slavery is in the past and it is time to move on.  Instead of looking for an apology from the "white man" to make everything better, look at your community.  Every other race and culture in the world knows how to stick together as a people and uplift eachother.  Depression is a disease and eveytime you bring this up you infect your own people.  The key is your mindset.  Don't teach your children to have a negative outlook because they will not even have a chance.  The more you drag this "pity me" attitude out, the longer it will take before you can turn the hoods into suburbs.

And as I recall in the history books, it was blacks selling blacks into slavery and the"yankees" who fought for your freedom were white.  


Posted By: jackflash (August 2, 2008 at 8:34 PM)

Put pictures in the White House of Black folk who helped shaped this country.  Tired of the same old pictures hanging there; most of which were slave holders.


Posted By: DrewReason (August 2, 2008 at 9:28 PM)

#20.  Replace one of every organizations', department presidents, chairpersons, and Program Directors with a black person.  Preferably one who has been photographed proudly in a dashiki and an afro a time a two.  


Posted By: strawberryshortcake (August 2, 2008 at 10:31 PM)

There are two kinds of people commenting on this blog...

A: ones who have poor reading comprehension and critical thinking skills thus taking this post seriously

B: ones who are joking along with Jimi

If you're A....please play in traffic and win a Darwin Award!


Posted By: reality (August 2, 2008 at 11:23 PM)

I try my hardest not to be a racist person, I've had plenty of black friends growing up and I didn't treat them any differently than my white friends based on anything but behavior.  Behavior is one of the major problems in the world of racism today, topped only by attitude.  If you want people to look at you differently then you need to change one or both of those things and the only person holding you back is yourself.

Reality has come, if you would like to keep living in a dream world by all means stop reading this.  If you would like to be enlightened on how reality operates then feel free to continue.

Ok first off more than half of these posters are just whiners.  For instance:  Banning whites from this banning whites from that, seriously stop your crying and shut up.  All you're saying is you want to be able to do something they can't which is half of what slavery was about, them doing stuff you can't.  So where's the logic hmm?  There is none, welcome to reality where all you are is a whiner and what you REALLY want even though you'll never say it is a free ride through life because of past events you had nothing to do with and here's another thing... You weren't even there!!

Second.... the garbage men thing is funny, stupid but funny, especially since where I live there's white garbage men....... and they need love too so take your prejudice against garbage men and stuff it.  You want racism to stop and yet you're racist against garbage men who could be anybody of any race and any gender!  How stupid are you!?

Fast food companies aiming at the black community to drive their health down?  That's a good one... you only have your own laziness to blame for that.

Blacks "work for lower pay, do better jobs, are harder workers which makes whites look bad" yeah since when?  In the city I grew up in there were 54 McDonalds and the #1 store in customer satisfaction, cleanliness and food quality only had ONE black employee where as most of the other stores were at least 70% black...... coincidence?  I'll leave that one up to you.

Letters of transit for being pulled over by racial profiling officers?  Wow that's just stupid, try obeying the law and you won't have a problem when you get pulled over.  Here's some tips for you in this Chris Rock video => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFNYrL-YgIw

I can give countless stories of black people I've seen and talked to and worked with who absolutely hate other black people and in fits of frustration have said things such as "Damn black people!" (coming from a black person!)  How many white people have you seen or heard yelling "Damn white people!" in a fit of frustration dealing with another white person?  My guess is none and the reason is because for all their complaining about it when it comes right down to it black people are the more racist ones.  Now sure you'll see them say things such as: "stupid $#@^" or "dumb ^&*#" or "crazy @$&#" but I would pay money for proof of any white person actually saying (not acting) "damn white people" because it's not going to happen.

Now here's a good one from LANEJARSONBECK.  Lots of insight here.  See another big contributing factor in the problem with being a black person in this day in age is their own culture which promotes things like lie, cheat, steal, do whatever it takes to get what you want rather it's within the law or not.  Yet another example of the problem lies within.  Take for example the neighborhood lockdown mentioned earlier, the title says it all among other things.  "BLACK neighborhoods on lockdown" - crime rates going down everywhere else but in this mostly black neighborhood... HMMMM....

You know I once worked for an italian food restaurant that did pizza delivery and one day some of the black delivery drivers were complaining about people not tipping them, but when asked the question, "Well do you tip the pizza delivery driver when you order?" the very quickly given response was "Hell no!  F*&$ that sh$*!"  Now come on that just says it all, if you want everyone else to treat you better then start treating other people better yourself.  Again the problem lies within.

Here's a theoretical question for you.  What would happen if suddenly every single person in the world was 100% kind, considerate, friendly to every other person around them?  What if nobody broke the law anymore?  What if there was no more littering?  What if there were no more crimes, no more killings, no more theft, no more innocent people killed just because some punk kid thinks it's easier to steal from a dead person than get a job?  The answer, no matter how you answer it, is that the world would be a much better place than it is now.  Now obviously this is not going to happen and there will always be such things, but the point is that you control rather you do these things or not and thus, indirectly control rather they happen to you or not.

So now I depart from this very long post and leave you with these parting words of wisdom... THE PROBLEM LIES WITHIN!!  Stop whining, go out there and change yourself and the world around you will also change.


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