
Can we talk about Ms. Angelina Jolie? And no, I don't mean her affinity with Josephine Baker and the rainbow tribe. I have other, less pressing concerns about my favorite public mama, some of which are addressed in this month's Vanity Fair profile and others which, well, are not.
Like:
1.
Angelina is always carrying her kids. But kids are heavy. Mine is only
three and a half and even though I'd like to carry him around until he
leaves for college, I have to put him down after ten minutes. Angie is
definitely much sexier to look at than a stroller, but my god, does she
bench 350? Do Pilates three times a day? Is she really Lara Croft
disguised as Angelina Jolie? Trainers, baby sling users, rotator cuff
specialists, please advise.
2. The woman wears outrageously gorgeous frocks.
Does she shop online late at night after the kids are in bed? Does she
have a stylist who brings racks of stuff over every week? Does Barney's
let her roam the store at night so she can have a fashion moment while
Brad and the kids wait on overstuffed leather sofas outside the
dressing room? Inquiring fashionista moms want to know.
3. Her
kids look happy all the time. My son has a tantrum every now and again,
especially if I can't give him my attention, he's tired, hungry, wants
to watch to Little Bear, or just woke up feeling funky. I just don't
see how Brangie can be out with four kids and not one of them looks
like they want to run screaming in the other direction, fall on the
floor in a fit, or chuck a bottle into the ocean. I know Brangie's got
plenty of money and plenty of help. But even help and money can't
keep a kid from being a kid, can it?
4.
Angelina wants ten kids. Is this even possible? You've got to be there
for bedtime stories, boo-boos, play dates. Parent is another word for
cook, cleaner, psychotherapist, guru, milk dispenser, and ten other
jobs most moms are too tired to identify. How do you do that for ten
little human beings? How do you do it for five? All you moms with more
than three kids, tell us how you do it. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW.
5. On this idea of having kids in different countries and being a global
family: I don't know about them, but
jet-lag
is a serious issue for me. My son, fifteen hours in an
airplane, plus jet-lag= NIGHTMARE. I gotta give it to Brangie,
when Rome finally falls, they will no doubt be in just the right place.
But what about the general sense of dislocation resulting from constant
movement? I moved around a lot as a child. It had its pluses and minuses. What do you think about raising global nomads?
Obviously
this is more about the way we each raise our own kids than it is about
Angelina, but it sure is fun to ask you guys the questions that swirl
around in my head every time I see her beautiful face on the cover of People magazine.
I'd love to hear what you think about transracial adoption, too, but only if you want to talk about it.
xoxo