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Posted Monday, June 02, 2008 4:24 PM

The Hot Mama: Five Questions for Angelina Jolie

rebeccawalker

 

Can we talk about Ms. Angelina Jolie? And no, I don't mean her affinity with Josephine Baker and the rainbow tribe. I have other, less pressing concerns about my favorite public mama, some of which are addressed in this month's Vanity Fair profile and others which, well, are not.

Like: 

1. Angelina is always carrying her kids. But kids are heavy. Mine is only three and a half and even though I'd like to carry him around until he leaves for college, I have to put him down after ten minutes. Angie is definitely much sexier to look at than a stroller, but my god, does she bench 350? Do Pilates three times a day? Is she really Lara Croft disguised as Angelina Jolie? Trainers, baby sling users, rotator cuff specialists, please advise.

2. The woman wears outrageously gorgeous frocks. Does she shop online late at night after the kids are in bed? Does she have a stylist who brings racks of stuff over every week? Does Barney's let her roam the store at night so she can have a fashion moment while Brad and the kids wait on overstuffed leather sofas outside the dressing room? Inquiring fashionista moms want to know.

3. Her kids look happy all the time. My son has a tantrum every now and again, especially if I can't give him my attention, he's tired, hungry, wants to watch to Little Bear, or just woke up feeling funky. I just don't see how Brangie can be out with four kids and not one of them looks like they want to run screaming in the other direction, fall on the floor in a fit, or chuck a bottle into the ocean. I know Brangie's got plenty of money and plenty of help. But even help and money can't keep a kid from being a kid, can it?

4. Angelina wants ten kids. Is this even possible? You've got to be there for bedtime stories, boo-boos, play dates. Parent is another word for cook, cleaner, psychotherapist, guru, milk dispenser, and ten other jobs most moms are too tired to identify. How do you do that for ten little human beings? How do you do it for five? All you moms with more than three kids, tell us how you do it. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW.

5. On this idea of having kids in different countries and being a global family: I don't know about them, but jet-lag is a serious issue for me. My son, fifteen hours in an airplane, plus jet-lag= NIGHTMARE. I gotta give it to Brangie, when Rome finally falls, they will no doubt be in just the right place. But what about the general sense of dislocation resulting from constant movement? I moved around a lot as a child. It had its pluses and minuses. What do you think about raising global nomads?

Obviously this is more about the way we each raise our own kids than it is about Angelina, but it sure is fun to ask you guys the questions that swirl around in my head every time I see her beautiful face on the cover of People magazine.

I'd love to hear what you think about transracial adoption, too, but only if you want to talk about it.

xoxo
 

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Member Comments

Posted By: mommy2bean (June 2, 2008 at 5:36 PM)

I too wonder how she's able to carry two kids at a time.  My daughter weighs 24-25 pounds and after about three minutes or so, I have to readjust in order to keep her on my hip.  My view on transracial adoption is this.  I believe her intentions are good and she's providing a safe, comfortable and healthy environment for children who may or may not live out their youth in an orphanage or extreme poverty.  I don't think it should matter that they come from different countries or races.  As long as she's teaching them about where they came from as far as language and culture, I see nothing wrong with it.  Only time will tell.  It may be easier to raise them if she was not a celebrity though.


Posted By: theoriginal MissZ (June 2, 2008 at 6:07 PM)

my mother was pregnant 12 times and had 8 children.  she said you get used to picking up 30lbs many times a day.  she had at least 3 children in diapers all the time.  we did have a maid but not a nanny.


Posted By: anna (June 2, 2008 at 6:25 PM)

I agree with you!  Angelina must work out a lot.  Also, have you seen whether she wears heels at the same time?  That would be some accomplishment!

I'm a white mama, grandmama, and great grandmama, and I think each little soul deserves all the love he or she can find in this old world, no matter what color.  I've seen children of various colors in white families, and my heart is gladdened by the poise and confidence they exhibit.  My own children are simply the best, but there were ways I could have instilled more confidence in them.  Color doesn't matter one whit! I saw Donna Summer, the singer, the other day on television.  Her oldest daughter's father is German, and Donna's two little granddaughters have blonde hair.  But, as a grandma, it was evident that they thought she was the best grandma in the world, and vice-versa.  It was wonderful to see.

Peace and Love to you all!


Posted By: bryony1 (June 2, 2008 at 7:02 PM)

I can understand transracial adoptions of kids from countries ours has trashed. For example, I expect a wave of adoptions of Iraqi orphans once the troops are out of there and the situation is stabilized. What I don't understand is why people adopt children from nations with which we haven't had a war when there are so many children here in need of adoption. Mixed race children have a very tough time getting adopted here, compared to their white counterparts. A few years ago, there was a large number of adoptions of Chinese girl infants, because of sexist attitudes in China, where you can have only one child, or could only have one at that time -- maybe it's changed -- and parents were placing their girl babies in orphanages so they could try for boys.

All children need loving homes. I just don't see the necessity of adopting kids from other countries unless the kids' parents have perished because of U.S. "foreign policy," i.e., killled in the various wars and "police actions" our country can't seem to say "no" to, and will, in fact, lie like rugs to get into ) Iraq). Those kids that are half-Americans and left behind when the sperm donors, which is all these soldiers are and all they care to be, go home, have dreadful times. Vietnam's treatment of its half-American children was shameful, to say the least.

But when there are so many kids living in poverty in this country, given up by or taken away from their own parents, why do adoptive couples search the globe? Their are babies waiting for you people in every city in this country. Give them homes in their homeland.


Posted By: kaharabu (June 2, 2008 at 7:14 PM)

I'm glad Angelina and Brad are adopting children from around the world. Most people aren't or care so what's the matter?


Posted By: laperez01 (June 2, 2008 at 7:25 PM)

I carry my two year old 32lb niece all the time. I use my child bearing hips to keep her up though. Ms. Angelina does not have hips like these so I couldn't imagine using just my arms.  As for her rainbow tribe, I have 4 sisters and 1 brother. We range from dark to white chocolate. We never saw our differences until others pointed them out.  We embrace our differences and love each other unconditionally.


Posted By: beaucrimson (June 2, 2008 at 8:11 PM)

Speaking of seeds...former TN running back..Travis Henry...fathered 9 children

by 9 different mothers.  I bet AL Sharpton.....won't have anything to say about

this.  Why are black men....such bad fathers?  


Posted By: vair (June 2, 2008 at 8:23 PM)

To answer Q#4. My child is "on his way" arriving soon but my DH is #10 in his family. My MIL is always composed, looks good and in control. All of her kids were very ACTIVE:))) Nevertheless the house was in ORDER,very clean. The MIL was a stay at home mom (no nannies or maids), very resorceful and careful with their money, the kids were DISCIPLINED when necessary., raised on Christian values. That made them responsible,  successful adults (and I am eternally greatful to my parents in law for my husband's character) who love and respect their parents. I admire my in-laws for the way they bought their children. If my MIL is critical with my (future) parenting I WILL LISTEN...

And Q#5: Brad & Angie should STOP talking about GLOBAL WARMING. Such hippocrates: the whole family TROTTING THE GLOBE leaves more carbon footprint (not that I believe in this foolishness anyway) they are so concerned about than an average American family! Just count how many times they used those private jets or concider the size of their mentions. There is nothing wrong with either but these people should STOP telling ohers how to live their lives.

As fo Angie adopting kids from different countries that makes me wonder if this woman is just trying to be "different". Why not to adopt a black kid from the States? There are plenty of those in foster homes... or it is too "common" for her..? (Regardless, I am glad she did adopt, all kids deserve a family) BTW, color does not matter for me personally, it's not a big deal whom to adopt. My DH is black and I'm white from Europe, we want to adopt when we have the money but would never concider the specifics of race, it really DOES NOT MATTER.


Posted By: smurfgirl (June 2, 2008 at 8:28 PM)

I always wonder why Angelina would adopt from all over the world when there are plenty of children here in the U. S that need loving families also. I feel as though she adopts all these children to strenghthen her image as goodwill ambassdor. I have always wanted a large family(I have three kids) but if I had her money and all the hired help I would have had more.Hired help makes it a hell of a lot easier.


Posted By: AimeeB (June 2, 2008 at 8:46 PM)

Dear Bryony1 and others--

People adopt from other countries because the system in the US is incredibly difficult to navigate. As a White adoptive mother of two Black American girls, I can vouch for the complicated nature of US adoptions. We live in Louisiana and our girls were from Florida and Alabama. All three states have wildly different laws in regard to everything from how much the adoptive parents can support the birth mother, to the rights of the birth father, to how long it takes until the adoption is finalized. We had to have social workers in our state and the birth mother's state, lawyers in both states, legal proceedings in both states....frankly it was nightmarish. From what I understand, though international adoptions are complex, there is less ambiguity at least in the sense of the birth parents' roles. There are horror stories about birth families taking placed children away from adoptive parents--and these are typically just that, stories, but the fear is there for domestic adoptions, true or not. Once you have your international child home, no first family is going to come get them. Whether that is good or bad for the child is a whole other argument. In our case, our first daughter's birth mom left us contact info but did not want to be a part of Elena's life at this time, and our second daughter's birthmom is still in touch. As far as transracial adoption goes, most White parents are by far not prepared to deal with the "race issue" and can be convinced that love is enough. This is not true. I feel that I was somewhat more qualified to raise Black children than most due to my educational, social, and political background, but my experiences are certainly in the minority for most White adoptive parents (for example, I have lived in Tanzania and Kenya, have degrees in African American and Cultural Studies as well as Psychology, etc.) The good thing is that research shows that children of color raised in White homes do not have any more significant self-esteem issues than other kids, as long as the parents are willing to talk about race and live in multi-ethnic communities. It is a complicated issue, and I by NO means have it all figured out, but there are a lot of resources out there these days for the multicultural family, adopted or otherwise, and that is a good thing.

As far as Ms. Jolie goes, she seems committed to the cultural education of her children, having them visit and learn some language skills, which is of course important. Her children will be raised to appreciate differences as beautiful, and I feel that way about my girls, too. We like to say that it our differences that make us beautiful as a family. A bit cheesy, but on some level it really is true. Like Ghandi said, you have to be the change you want to see in the world--I want the world to be more like my (and the Jolie) family!


Posted By: AimeeB (June 2, 2008 at 8:50 PM)

Ms. Walker--do you have a public email address if a reader wanted to share a private story?

I can be reached at ablackham1@mac.com.

Thanks for great blogging!


Posted By: Bunky* (June 2, 2008 at 9:47 PM)

Quite honestly, I wonder how any parent successfully administers the task. I have had a few stress related occupations in my lifetime. But, taking care of my daughter has been rewarding and a challenge. Although you addressed your column towards mothers, I am a "stay home dad" (for lack of better words...I have been raising my daughter since she was 2 weeks old. We have made it to a year, so far - so good.


Posted By: sblackburn48 (June 2, 2008 at 10:07 PM)

I agree with the comments about adopting children from THIS country who need homes.  I think that--for white people looking to adopt children of color into their families--it is easier to reject the racist labels that their non-white children will surely be given if they are NOT from this country.  I know a woman who has adopted two children from Africa who routinely explains "they're African" almost as a way to distance her children from being just plain old black.  

There are so many children here in the USA who need families--white, black, or any other race--just a family.  If the adoptive parents are aware of the challenges they will face adopting children of a different race and they are ready to meet the challenges, then I think it is an amazing thing.  However, many white parents adopt children of color and train them in being white by ignoring their color/questions about their color, and immersing them in only white culture.  This isn't right, and should be a part of the screening process for multiracial adoption.


Posted By: AimeeB (June 2, 2008 at 10:25 PM)

I am going to be a bit cantakerous here, but I don't mean offense, just hoping to provide a little controversy for arguments sake....

For those of you who take issue with international adoptions....have you adopted any of these American children available for adoption? Where does your responsibility lie in creating homes for these children beyond criticizing the choices of others? Just because you may be able to procreate biologically doesn't give you the right to pass judgement on how others create their families. And by the way, adoption is NOT only for those who have no biological choice. I CAN conceive, but CHOSE adoption to address the issue of all these children in need in the U.S.

The larger point is...who is responsible for these children waiting in care for a family?


Posted By: ssicilia (June 2, 2008 at 10:35 PM)

The comments from bryony1 struck me, since we adopted our daughter from Guatemala.  Someone else has already answered the part about U.S. adoptions, and I agree - it's impossible for many folks to adopt here.

But the part I really wanted to address is bryony1's statement  "... I just don't see the necessity of adopting kids from other countries unless the kids' parents have perished because of U.S. foreign policy..."

First of all, I disagree that we should play favorites at all.  Every child deserves a family.  I hope that you are successful in adopting from whatever country you feel drawn to.  (You ARE planning to adopt, right?)

The other point I want to make is that we've trashed a lot more countries that we even know about.  For instance, the poverty in Guatemala that makes it necessary for many single moms in Guatemala to place their children for adoption can be traced directly to U.S. intervention years ago, driven by the United Fruit Company's greed.  (I know, sound's kind of like deja vu, doesn't it?)  So, even if we did use that criteria, it wouldn't narrow down the list of countries very much.

Oh, and I don't know how she manages to carry all those kids either!  

Peace


Posted By: eva2devine (June 2, 2008 at 10:59 PM)

As far as carrying kids.  You get used to it.  We have twins and I knew nothing more than to carry them both, up and down stairs, in high heels,  dressed-up or not.  I finally stopped carrying them at 4 1/2 years old.

With regard to transracial adoption.  We have done that too and have no problems.  Love sees no color.  An adopted child is born in your heart not your mind!


Posted By: Elliemae (June 2, 2008 at 11:23 PM)

WHY DOES SHE NEED TO CARRY THEM?  SAHARA'S HAIR HAS FINALLY BEEN COMBED.  THE CHILDREN ALL LOOK A LITTLE STRESSED OUT TO ME.  DO YOU EVER SEE THEM SMILE?  THERE IS AN INTERESTING ARTICLE IN A CURRENT CELEBRITY MAG THAT IS, OVERALL, QUITE POSITIVE ABOUT THE JOLIEPITT CHILD REARING PHILOSOPHY.  IT'S NOW ON SALE.  SOUNDS LIKE AN INTERESTING APPROACH FOR A MULTICULTURAL FAMILY -- A CHAOTIC BUT FUNFILLED HOUSEHOLD, WITH LOTS OF INTELLECTUAL AND SOCIAL STIMULATION .  CAREFULLY CONSIDERED. THEY ARE ALL LEARNING THEIR NATIVE LANGUAGE, SO THERE ARE 5 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN THE HOUSEHOLD.   I'M GLAD SHE FINALLY DECIDED TO COMB SAHARA'S HAIR.  I THINK TRANSRACIAL ADOPTIONS IN THE VAST MAJORITY OF CASES ARE BETTER THAN  NO ADOPTION AT ALL.  


Posted By: midcenturymodern (June 3, 2008 at 12:47 AM)

My husband and I registered to adopt with several US public adoption agencies and one international agency; we are a bi-racial couple, he's in Asian, I'm white. Homestudies approved. The public agencies told us, on background, that we weren't quite the racial mix they were looking for to adopt kids in their care...but they'd keep us in the file, maybe give us a call if some kids seemed like a likely match.  We called back, updated files, no response.

The international agency found us a little guy in China.  We do the Chinese school thing and live in a very diverse area.  

I have had strangers tell me I should "have adopted from the US" -- right in front of our son! I ask them if they are adoptive parents; most seem quite offended by my question. I believe children everywhere deserve a home and family. We had one bio daughter and now one adopted son and each child is a joy.  People find joy though many different routes, please don't be so quick to pass judement on my family.


Posted By: midcenturymodern (June 3, 2008 at 12:49 AM)

My husband and I registered to adopt with several US public adoption agencies and one international agency; we are a bi-racial couple, he's in Asian, I'm white. Homestudies approved. The public agencies told us, on background, that we weren't quite the racial mix they were looking for to adopt kids in their care...but they'd keep us in the file, maybe give us a call if some kids seemed like a likely match.  We called back, updated files, no response.

The international agency found us a little guy in China.  We do the Chinese school thing and live in a very diverse area.  

I have had strangers tell me I should "have adopted from the US" -- right in front of our son! I ask them if they are adoptive parents; most seem quite offended by my question. I believe children everywhere deserve a home and family. We had one bio daughter and now one adopted son and each child is a joy.  People find joy though many different routes, please don't be so quick to pass judement on my family.


Posted By: mhagan1 (June 3, 2008 at 1:57 AM)

For the record, if Angelina were to adopt from HER COUNTRY OF ORIGIN it would be Canada. So the "made in the USA" adoption bit is off the mark when talking about her. And has anyone considered that by them adopting from other countries this helps shine a light on the issues affecting these countries (at least temporarily). And I believe she adopted Maddox while filming Lara Croft.


Posted By: cervantesm (June 3, 2008 at 4:00 AM)

Deviating slightly, regarding Jolie's "country of origin" (implying her birthplace or decendents). Not sure how it all adds up but she was born in beautiful L.A. - California; her mother was born in Chicago, Illinois and her father's birthplace is Yonkers, N.Y. - When does one stop being a "product", figuratively speaking, of another country and become the "product" of their birthplace? Back to the subject:--->Regardless of who or what she is I think it's awesome she's chosen to adopt. Adoption is exhausting, expensive and challenging in any country. Jolie's has a global perspective perhaps this is why she adopted from different countries because we're all one in this world..............


Posted By: kimmy (June 3, 2008 at 7:51 AM)

Beaucrimson wrote:Speaking of seeds...former TN running back..Travis Henry...fathered 9 children

by 9 different mothers.  I bet AL Sharpton.....won't have anything to say about

this.  Why are black men....such bad fathers?  

Report Abuse

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seriously, can't you do any better than that?  Please don't make me list the number of "men" who have killed their wives just because.  Some happen to be white men.  Should I ask the question--why do white men kill their wives and molest young children?  Ridiculous as your post.


Posted By: velcrofog (June 3, 2008 at 11:48 AM)

Regarding transracial adoptions:

My only "expertise" in this question is having worked a fair amount in termination of parental rights litigation--very, very sad stuff all around.  Generally, I think adoption is harder than most people imagine.  I know several great sets of adoptive parents, and even without a trans-racial factor, their kids sometimes had the most unexpected problems.  I've known an Aleutian pair of brothers adopted into a white family that exhibited considerable behavioral and psychological problems, and one of those brothers told me it was hard being the only Aleutians around.  Earlier today, though, I ran into an old biracial (white & black) friend who, together with her Asian and deaf brother, were adopted by white parents, and are all doing quite well.  

Will it be a problem sometimes?  Yes.  Should we pay any attention to race in adoption?  Not unless we have nothing better to worry about, and I mean that literally.  It may be legitimate someday to worry about how much the kid resembles the parents, in racial terms and otherwise (I'm thinking of you, freckled redheads).  But we are a long way from that point.  For now, let's concentrate on less interesting but more urgent problems, like the general shortage of adoptive parents and the need for better pre- and post-adoption support.  

That's my take.


Posted By: velcrofog (June 3, 2008 at 11:57 AM)

One additional comment.  I see a great number of people saying that because we have many needy children in our own country, we should adopt here first.  Every time I see this argument, I get curious.  Why should we do that?  How far does that go?  Should I first check my hometown, then my county, then my state, etc.?  

I would respectfully suggest that the high-profile adoptions by celebrities of foreign children may be a useful reminder of a different worldview; one in which our humanity, and our obligations to the next generation, have nothing to do with national boundaries.  I do understand the need to act locally, and generally do prefer local activism, but I also think we could use as many little threads stitching individuals across the globe together as we can get.  Sometimes the symbolism is worth the jet fuel.

One more thing--maybe this is because this is a relatively new website, but the quality of conversation at Roots is much, much better than at many websites.  Here's hoping that stays true.


Posted By: Grace Jones (June 3, 2008 at 12:31 PM)

Usually mothers with three or more kids have some form of external support whether from extended family members or outside help such as sitters or nannies.  My grandmother had her mother and my grandfather's mother to take care of their 13 children. It's in our culture to have the grandparent's involved in raising the children. Both My mother, my grandmother and my great-grandmother had helped to raise and take care of me, my brother and my sister. Not to mention our aunts and uncles and next door neighbors.  I guess it really takes a village.  

As for transracial adoption, I'm totally all for it. I love the idea of nurturing kids from different cultures and races, thus proving that we are ALL one under the sun.  As humans, we all need love and affection, no matter the race; and therefore, when we get love and nurture, as long as it's from someone who loves us, then race is not an issue. As we Jamaicans like to say it, thanks to Mr.Marley...One Love.

Nicole D


Posted By: ladybee21 (June 3, 2008 at 1:53 PM)

Can we talk about her? NO! Let's talk about our lives here in the everyday world where no one cooks, cleans, or braids my baby's huge head of hair for hours on Saturdays.  Maybe she can carry those babies because she doesn't have to carry much else.  I think she seems cool and I give her props for helping children around the world, her own and the public at large, but I don't want to talk about her.  Her everyday life is not a model for MY everyday life.


Posted By: nk1975 (June 3, 2008 at 2:19 PM)

beaucrimson -

Let me put it simply - your comment is totally ignorant.  Are there bad black fathers?  Sure.  No group of people is immune from the plague of absent, inattentive, or even downright abusive parents.  But to ask "Why are black men such bad fathers?" as if that is a universal truth among African-Americans is asinine.  

As for Angelina...well, more power to her.  I do have to say that my gut instinct has often been anger when I meet people who've adopted from abroad instead of adopting the children in need of homes in their own back yard.  But after reading some of the (thoughtful) responses on this board, I realized I need to check myself.  Kudos to anyone who can provide a loving, nurturing environment for a child in need and does so -- regardless of where that child (or the parents) come from/look like, etc.


Posted By: sayWord (June 3, 2008 at 2:25 PM)

 You are impressed by her  "we are the world. White Savior" bullcrap?  Dissappointingds.  She parades those kids around as if they were breathing T-shirt slogans. I guess you believe Brad Pitt really poured his money into New Orleans real estate out of the goodness of his own heart.

Get a clue.

What you should feel is some shame for your own laziness in child rearing.  Jolie is not a  large or muscular woman by any means.  If she can carry her kids,  I;m sure you can.  And by the way, she puts them down as soon as the photo op is over.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU6hrmFIDds


Posted By: DrewReason (June 3, 2008 at 2:25 PM)

I think her kids look happy all of the time because they are being photographed. Show me a kid that doesn't like his photo being taken, and I'll show you a kid with autism.


Posted By: AimeeB (June 3, 2008 at 2:46 PM)

As far as this "white savior" bullcrap goes...that may be the motivation of some White adoptive parents, and I have certainly been assumed to be one of them living in the South and having two Black children...that somehow I am rescuing them from their poor (literally and figuratively) Black life and that they are to satisfy my white guilt....it is that attitude that is never going to get us to a place where people aren't killing each other over tribal affiliations and religious differences. Get over it...if we don't talk about it and do something proactive, what does that say about our morality. Just bitching gets you no where. Go adopt a kid that needs a home that is not your "color" and then see how you feel.


Posted By: Suzanne (June 3, 2008 at 3:47 PM)

I hope you were just having fun with this post, and were not at all serious about using the representations we see of Jolie's mothering experience (and that's all we see--not the reality) as any baseline.  Since it seems that the answer to most of these questions depends on whether you, too, are insanely wealthy and able to hire a huge staff to do everything for you-like buy your clothes and carry your children for the other 23 hours and 58 minutes of the day when a camera is not on you-and comfort them on the private plane and tutor them on their jet-lagged schedules and bring all their favorite toys  to create a sense of home in each new place...  That's not a criticism of her, by the way.  With her resources, I'd probably live her life too.  Even without them, I love the global nomad idea -- though again the buffer of staff make a big difference.

As for transracial adoption -- I have to say I think it's unfair at best, or maybe just unhelpful, just to throw it out there and say "what do you think about it."   Meaning thumbs up or thumbs down? Think about what part, how?  What it's like to be adopted? What it's like to adopt?  Transracial parenting?  How to do it?  How not to do it?  Under what circumstances?  Sorry, but the question asked that way begs for pretty simplistic soundbytes  as answers.


Posted By: MarilynJean (June 3, 2008 at 4:36 PM)

I don't see how the average parent can learn much from million dollar celeb parents like Jolie and Pitt. And yes, I can understand how international adoption is easier, but then why aren't people doing anything about it? While you are adopting internationally, write some letters to your congressperson to change how adoption works in this country. Not too mention that international adoption is expensive, so where does that leave the average couple who want to have a family? Nevertheless, having worked closely with adoption agencies it breaks my heart knowing that there are children in my own city, county, state (especially Black ones) who will never find a home, but people will manage to go halfway around the world to adopt a child - many times from countries with poor adoption practices/laws and corrupt adoption workers.

p.s. If Angelina is sooo great, how come you never see many pics of her with her own plain old white BIRTH child?


Posted By: Be On It (June 3, 2008 at 7:18 PM)

Why are the responses to question 4 (how do you manage w/ more than 3 kids) ignoring the most honored tradition of big families - ie dumping parental responsibilities on older siblings? I am the oldest girl ( 2nd oldest child) in a family of six, and there was a period of four years where my youngest siblings called me Mommy-I-Mean-(My 1st Name).  Angelina's kids are fairly close in age, but don't think for a minute that the oldest aren't pitching in, at least superficially.  That's how it starts out.

Child:  "Mommy, can I change baby's diaper?"

Mother: (all surprised at the offer and thinking 'how cute'): "Sure sweetheart. Let Mommy show you how to do it."

Flash forward six months and next thing you know, lil Johnny or Jane is a pro at swapping Pampers and is secretly plotting their escape from Babyville.


Posted By: cancan (June 3, 2008 at 7:35 PM)

I  take my hats off to anyone who adopts a child and I say that people should adopt who they want to adopt.  My sister, who has lupus, had one birth child and adopted another child.  My daughter who has one birth child, is in the process of becoming a foster parent.  I know people, Black and White, who've adopted internationally, from this country, and cross-racially.  All of the experiences have their own sets of difficulties - whether it's the adoption process or the acculturation and caring for children whose backgrounds have been jacked.

Who am I to decide what another family should do?  What I should do, is do what I can do given my resources, energy and desires.


Posted By: ladetygr (June 3, 2008 at 8:24 PM)

I think that she is always pictured holding them but that she actually doesn't hold them all the time. On that same note, holding them may make them more comfortable when the camera-hogs are around. That many people crowding around children, screaming questions can be frightening and holding them may be her way of reassuring them that everything is okay, If we had to do that for our children......believe me it would get done regardless of their weight! As for the jet-lag.....notice how many pictures her and brad have with sunglasses on...that should be your first clue! Its not just the sun, baby.....those bags come out to play after those long trips....lol! Plus celebrities have major help with looking stellar so it never ceases to amaze me when they are up for days at a time and look like they have slept for 8 full hours every night. Plus...Angelina can have ten kids....she is a millionaire! If she wants to take her kids on set and have a trailer for them and a nanny to watch them....trust the producers will accommadate. If we could take our kids to work with us...I believe more people would have more kids! Also...she can not work for a year or two and raise her kids....she has the ability to do that. Celebrities are a whole different breed of human beings in our society...lol!


Posted By: ladetygr (June 3, 2008 at 8:25 PM)

Transracial adoption is beautiful! I see nothing wrong with it and I commend anyone who attempts it!


Posted By: bylinediva (June 3, 2008 at 9:21 PM)

1. Can't answer this one, no kids here. I once carried my baby niece on my back in a carrier and it almost broke.

2. Yes, Angelina has a stylist. I would know this to be true even if I hadn't met a woman who is friends with her stylist. She happens to be pregnant herself and gets all the stuff Angie rejects.

3. You don't see her kids all the time, just moving from place to place when they are outside. And maybe someone there is just a good disciplinarian or they've trained the kids not to act up in front of cameras. These kids are all pretty young, so they are probably used to it. And they have three nannies, I'm sure that helps. But it is a good point.

4. My grandmother had nine kids, my aunt had eight and they didn't have the money or help that Angelina does. And maybe you haven't watched the Discovery channel, but the Duggan family has 18 -- that is not a typo -- children. One woman, 41, had them all. They are devout Christians so maybe that helps. I know it couldn't be me.

5. The Brangelina crew is flying private planes. That means a lot less hassle at Customs, that means not having to run through the airport with a bunch of kids, taht means you take off and land when you want to, and you have a staff and a bed on the plane. So that's how they do that. I doubt they EVER fly commercial which would be much, much harder with their brood.

As far as transracial adoption -- I do think that Angelina has done, if we believe her, what should be done which is make the kids aware of their own heritage. I think it's problematic when white adoptive parents don't recognize the uniqueness of black culture and our rich heritage. I don't believe the "one world" theory. Sorry, I think if you are white raising a black child in America you should have and be willing to have all the information you possibly can. My white girlfriend has a black son (naturally, his dad is black). Because she is a social worker and has a diverse set of friends, she was knowledgable about how he would be percieved since he will be viewed as black. He has gone to black school, he has black friends and like his mother he has a diversity of people around him. Without that, I think given where we clearly are in this society (Election 2008) since he is the only black child in a family of Nordic Norweigan-American and WASP background (his father is not in the picture) that was the right approach.

Rebecca...I do have a question for you. You must be a freind in my head or something for some reason I always feel a need to respond to your columns. You wrote a column about your mother recently, but it did not appear on TheRoot. I'm curious to know why.

5.


Posted By: momma2five (June 3, 2008 at 11:19 PM)

For those of you who feel it is easier to adopt a child in the USA or that we should only adopt a child here, if you haven't tried to adopt, don't try to have an opinion or voice.  It is very difficult, and as a white mother (and my color shouldn't make a difference!) I have been told that "we are waiting for a family of color to adopt this child."  You are right, there ARE a lot of children to adopt here but the system is NOT what it should be. THAT is why there are so many children needing homes EVERYWHERE!!  Racial bias is at the root.  

We have adopted in the states....and also internationally.  We wanted to adopt a child (children), not a color or a race....but a child.  

Regarding transracial adoption.  I challenge all of you who think it is wrong....ask my 4 year old or 6 year old who their mommy is....or daddy....or brothers and sisters.....ask our beautiful son or daughter why thier skin is brown and they will quickly tell you where they were born and how they came home to us. Differences should not separate us...they should be celebrated.  As corny as it may sound, love does NOT see color or race or culture as a problem.  

By the way, our family may look diffferent, but we do not have 3 biological ("real" or "our own")children and 2 adopted children....we have 5 children, simple as that.  Their adoption was an event in our lives but after that day, we became just a family.  And no, we have not "saved" any children, we are not perfect or "saints", and no, we will not be writing a book about our "multicultural" experiences.   We will face each challenge that each of our individual children may face as they arise....and educate those who don't know quite what it is like to love a child that came home a little differently!                


Posted By: The Spaniard (June 4, 2008 at 8:53 AM)

There is no mystery here...

Angelina is a MILLIONAIRE!  She has obviously dedicated herself to interacting with these children.  She can work out and stay in top physical condition while you are out working at you mind-numbing job.  While you are spending countless hours cleaning, cooking, shopping, and doing laundry, she can she her personal gym and eat the finest (& healthies) foods one could ever afford.

Congrats to her!


Posted By: The Spaniard (June 4, 2008 at 8:54 AM)

"Speaking of seeds...former TN running back..Travis Henry...fathered 9 children by 9 different mothers."

That would only be a problem if he wasn't caring for his children.

Black men aren't "bad fathers".  Get your mind right fool.


Posted By: AimeeB (June 4, 2008 at 9:28 AM)

In regard to Angelina's finances--I have read that she makes so much money that she only lives on one-third of her salary, and that she donates one third to charity and saves one third for her kids. I guess 15 million dollars a movie goes a long way!


Posted By: marzapan (June 4, 2008 at 9:33 AM)

Rebecca,

Fun post. My answers:

1. I think she has energy to carry her kids because she doesn't do laundry, dishes, endless cleaning up of toys... and inside whatever palatial mansion they are staying in that week, there are a bunch of nannies who do most of the carrying. I don't even say that disparagingly... I'm sure that's just how it is.

2. Stylists. Again, I think people like her have A LOT of staff.

3. They're not happier than your son, don't worry. I think they're happy in the pictures because they're not on a plane, and they're actually with their parents and not a nanny. Plus, it's just a short photo-op.

4. Yes, it's possible. Especially when you have other people to take care of the drudgery.

5. I wonder about this too! How do they do it? Why do they do it? Why are they so restless? It has got to wreak havoc on those kids, and yes, it does create a large carbon footprint.  I loathe travelling with my kids. It took us 6 hours to take a 2.5 hour car trip because my kids were so unhappy in the car.

6. On their transracial adoption... I hope the fact that Brangelina have two asian sons helps elevate the profile of asian-american males in our culture.


Posted By: sepphoria (June 5, 2008 at 10:53 AM)

I'm an adoptive mother of two  - one from Thailand, the other from Ethiopia. I think about race as in terms of what my children will encounter,l all the time. It is something I struggle with - how to impart a strong sense of positive self-worth while the culture around me is sending a different message. I've been reading about transracial adoption for over 10 years (lots of websites out there, and books), and I'm now looking for training so that the first racist comment directed at my children won't result in me inflicting bodily harm on the commenter. It's not easy. On the other hand, I have two fabulous wonderful little boys whom I would not give back for the world.

As to why did we not adopt domestically? My husband and I went through domestic foster/adoptive parent training early in our marriage, and we were horrified by the system! It seemed designed to do as much psychic damage as possible on children, and I suppose, having never been parents, we both were both cowards at heart at the time - we didn't want to face the risk of getting a child so emotionally damaged. Infants were scarce (of any race/ethnicity), so that wasn't really an option. Now that I've been a parent for awhile, I'm pushing my husband to do another adoption of an older child, and this time domestically. I feel a bit more sure of our parenting abilities, and a bit less scared now that I've seen how resilient children can be, and how they can thrive when loved and cared for in a stable environment.


Posted By: flygyrl72 (June 5, 2008 at 3:29 PM)

While I do admire her efforts w/ being a UN Goodwill ambassador, etc.  I personally, don't approve of her adopting all these children from different countries.  Since she is in a very capable position of being able to provide a good deal of financial help to these poor countries/communites, she should look more into investing in the country itself, that way, raising the overall quality of life in these regions, then these people would be able to take care of their own children & these orphans could grow up among their own.  She doesn't need to come swooping in like a Great White Hope, saving babies of color.  Again, I do think she has the best of intentions &  her kids look happy & well cared for, but I do wonder whether it's the best way for her to provide assistance to these troubled areas.  Also, with her schedule, even with the hired help, it would be EXTREMELY difficult to provide all of the children with the attention & care that they require.  Ask anyone from a large family, lots of time, there just isn't enough time to spread the love around.  I hope she stops taking on babies after these twins are born & concentrate on the big brood she already has.  Because, I still think this chick has some mental issues...

Honestly, I'm wary of transracial adoptions as a whole.  Did anyone just see that CNN piece last week about how the Black children being adopted by White families here in America often have a hard time?  It's here...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/05/27/tranracial.adoption.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

I know these families love the children no matter what, but still, the child isn't always best served by being placed w/ people that can't personally relate to the struggles they're going to have to deal with here in this society.  One of my close friends is a Black man who was raised by a White family, & he said that even though he loves his parents, there were so many times that he felt frustrated & stressed out because they just didn't "get" where he was coming from & what he was sometimes having to deal with.  He definitely agreed that some major overhauls need to go into the foster care/adoption system, so that if these types of adoptions continue to occur, we can be sure that these families are trained to raise the child optimally & be sensitive to the differences.


Posted By: ybmagpye (June 5, 2008 at 3:36 PM)

<i>But when there are so many kids living in poverty in this country, given up by or taken away from their own parents, why do adoptive couples search the globe? Their are babies waiting for you people in every city in this country. </i>

Because people adopting children in this country are terrified of getting drug addicted &/or abused children that will turn their lives in to a living hell. I don't know what the percentage of 'difficult' children is to 'normal' children that are up for adoption, but I personally know many people both black & white, who adopted or fostered American children. Many of them were forced to give up the children because although adopted young, the kids were already too screwed up by their $%#& birth parent(s). Sad, but true folks.

I think it is because of the gaddawful neutering of American's, whose only crime was being born poor, is why currently, drug addicted arseholes are allowed to produce drug-addicted after drug-addicted child. Such children put up for adoption are unfortunately largely doomed from the get-go. Our courts ought to stop looking at reproductive rights of adults and begin looking at the right to a decent healthy life for their future progreny.


Posted By: Dantresomi (June 6, 2008 at 8:48 AM)

uhh, she is filthy rich....

she probably has maids and nannies who fill in the blanks for her. I am sure, she doesn't bring them to the set with her. heck, I wish she would adopt me...

About adopting children from other countries: it's much easier and they have less standards than adoption agencies in the U.S.

I have encountered several white couples who have done this (some who have even gone to Communist China). The process takes less than a year whereas in the U.S. it can go between two to three years.


Posted By: guydechalus (June 6, 2008 at 4:27 PM)

Hello Rebecca,

I'm not so interested in Ms. Jolie. However, on the matter of how to raise children, I would welcome all perspectives. Funny how characters in novels, or public personalities end up being the bridges across which we are able to move between our perspectives (and opinions) of others and those centered around ourselves. You touch on a few things. But I disagree with some of your statements. I don't think that these children look any happier than those with children outside of the media's eye. Rather, they look tired, and often confused.  This may be a product of their specific situations but I digress. I would welcome your thoughts on parenthood, moreso because I believe that we may have opportunity to know each other. I believe that you may know my uncle. I have skimmed your literature. I look forward to reading one book in particular, that relates to the issues you've posed above.  Someday, I hope we meet. Maybe we will.   I'm on facebook if you're at all curious. Thank you for the article, I'll read a few more of your blogs. You're a fine writer.  Peace - Guy (mbira player)


Posted By: BrazilMama (June 7, 2008 at 3:34 PM)

Well... how about this: maybe she carries them only when papparazis are around... you know? It's always good to look nice in front of the cameras, if not, BUY A FREAKING STROLLER, ANGELINA!


Posted By: Retha (June 8, 2008 at 2:37 AM)

A lot of people have problems with transcultural adoptions, which is crazy. Of all the issues for people to go off on, this is not one of them. I applaud Angelina and Brad for loving all of their children equally. I applaud all mothers and fathers who stepped outside of their comfort zone to adopt children who don't look like them and then do everything they can to make sure those children are connected to their Roots.

Check ths article for examples of parents who are doing just that:

http://www.blurdigital.com/read-and-engage/detail/adoptions-from-the-heart/


Posted By: sandmadd (June 9, 2008 at 8:12 PM)

I believe Ms. Jolie can adopt as many children as she can afford and from wherever they are on the planet. However, whenever I see her with her children in photos, they look like props. Other celebrities go to great pains to avoid letting the paparazzi exploit their children. Recall the video of Princess Diana holding up her hand and beseeching photographers to leave her children alone. A. Jolie is just the opposite; her kids seem to be part of her image-building package.  We Are The World, or whatever....


Posted By: myonelovelife (June 13, 2008 at 5:01 PM)

I think that HOT Mama has a serious team of nannies, stylists and personal assistants!  I think I'd adopt 10 transracial children too with those resources...  

Transracial adoption is a tough one for me.  As the biological mother of interracial children the popularity of transracial adoption seems to have opened the door to strangers asking me on a daily basis if my kids are mine.  It hurts, and though my kids are young, 6 and 2, I think it's going to have a lasting impression on them.  

How do adopted children feel when others constantly question their lineage? How do they come to know themselves?  I know what I deal with on a daily basis and I have the lineage right there intact within the family.  We hope that transracial adopted children are coming into better, loving homes,  so I am not questioning adoption, but asking how...

www.myonelovelife.com


Posted By: Abriel (July 5, 2008 at 12:59 AM)

I'm too old to have another baby and so we will be adopting our 2nd baby and have no problem with where the baby is from. I will keep my personal opinion about Karma to my self this time


Posted By: nightmaxx (August 1, 2008 at 4:44 PM)

You know, I have to agree with Rebecca Bean, XOXO, or whomever asked these questions in a recent post.  Honestly, I truly believe that Ms. Jolie has to be differently a Super Woman!  I don't care about her wanting 10 children, but I will check in with you after the twins are at least three.

I don't have any hangups about nationality or race, because all of us in this country are mixed with something or another, so do what you have to do to adopt, but my only question is can't those poor children stay in place once in while?  Why do they have to go to different schools all over the country?  What kind of home life is that for young children anyway?  Everybody experiences jet-lag!  EVERYBODY. Both young and old.

Bench press 350 or take super multi-vitamins, and I'd suggest that those children take the same also.  All while they sit and watch their mom either say yes to fashion, or watch her order stuff, or look at the Image consultant and with tired eyes, say, "Just pick out what looks best for me, and call it a day.  These people, the Brad and Angelina group are amazing.  They travel everywhere and make the decision to take these children with them ,and they are the best mannered children I know.  I have only one son, now an adult and he did pretty good growing up but these children are in different parts of the world, among different speaking individuals, and I wonder just how easy it all can be?  All of them under the age of 6?  And super man Brad, I believe Jennifer you lost out in the end.  The man appears to be a great role model, a sincere,caring and compassionate person in the end.   I take my hat off to both of them for a miraculous job well done, albeit all of their nannies, helpers, personal assistants,etc.  

Nightmax