Let him go to publlic school. You could spend a fraction of that money on class supplies or equipment and still have some to donate to a child in a country where they have to pay for school. I thin the time spent being educated at home by involved parents is as equally educational as what a child could learn in school. My mom was getting her BA and Masters and I got to attend class with her a few times. I loved it [I was 8]. I also went through all of her school books [psychology, anatomy, communications] and I felt so grown up. it was during this time that I received an offer to be advanced to the next grade. I also read a lot of books and would circle the words I didn't know and look them up in a dictionary. I loved school and I went to public school. Of course I know if my parents had more money they would have put me in an exclusive school but I know that I questioned what I was being taught and had an eagerness to learn because I had such an amazing example at home. Being handed things really hinders the appreciation for something.

Having two adult sons that attended Montessori preschool and kindergarten in the mid 80s, a sister that currently teaches Montessori and a wonderful woman that became my dear friend when she welcomed my oldest son into her Montessori classroom in 1985, I have deep appreciation for  Montessori teaching. It is a fact that no two people are the same this holds true with learning. No two people learn the same. They are exposed to similar educational opportunities, environments and instruction however, how that learning is processed becomes their own unique experience. It's our experiences that develop our integrity, character and personality.

I like Montessori for that very reason. Every child receives tools and resources for learning based on their abilities, skills and awareness. If you have the resources to give your child an environment to develop his abilities, skills and awareness, I strongly suggest you make the choice to expose him early and often to engaging experiences. The uniqueness in parenting is based on what and how  the parent uses what's in their hands to afford their child a safe and positive learning environment.

My sons are wonderful, talented, servant leaders both personally and professionally I like to think it's because of their early exposure to learning in an environment that provided lasting and memorable experiences as a result of me working with what was in my hands; not only foundationally in our home but also in their formal training in Montessori pre-school.

Interesting discussion.  Currently my wife and I are trying to figure out what to do about getting our daughter into a 3 year-old program here in DC.  If you want to read more about it, follow this link: http://hillratdc.blogspot.com/2008/03/community-meeting-at-ludlow-taylor_20.html

I have a 5 year old son finishing up in Montessori and a 7 year old son who also attended Montessori pre-school and is now completing 1st grade.  I am thrilled with the education that they received.  If you are fortunate enough to get a good teacher who applies the Montessori method properly, you will find a child who loves learning and who develops skills in geography, science, botany, reading, and math far beyond what you would get in any traditional pre-school.  Both of my sons learned to read before they were five.  My first grader has been tested and reads at the level of fifth grader and is a great speller!  I think this is in large part thanks to the moveable alphabet and phonics-based approach to reading taught in Montessori.  Montessori teaches kids to learn from their environment and to take a hands-on approach to learning that follows them throughout their education.  Studies have shown that early childhood education is so important for future success.  If you are able, and I know some people are not, you should do all you can to give your child every advantage especially since the world is hard enough and the playing field is far from level.  I encourage you to put your son in the Montessori school.  You'll be amazed at what he learns and how much he loves it!  It's absolutely worth the money.

I have a 5 month old and worried to death about the educational climate. I'm already a member of the neighborhood parents association. Hoping and praying that by getting involved, I will be able to open doors for her.

I LOVE Montessori. I didn't go but my younger sister did and she was light years ahead of me in terms of maturity and self awareness. This year my neice (my sister's daughter) will be leaving Montessori for the 1st grade classroom. This kid is AMAZING. Not that she didn't come programmed that way, but I truly believe the school community (teachers, parents and students) helped to foster her innate skills as well as teaching her a wide range of academic subjects.

Good luck to you and Tenzin!

My daughter is now 28.  When she was a preschooler I had her in a program that treated her as if a preschooler could not learn anything. So she was taught nothing.  When I talked to people about Montessori I heard many rumors but when I checked out the local school none were truth.  Her first day she hopped out the car and run in. Everyday she was treated with respect. The teachers provided support and encouragement.  There was never a negative report. She remain in the Montessori program until she was ready to move on.  A different private school and then public school shock us with how much time was wasted with non-learning, Today she is a writer, musican, has started her own business and is still learning.  I would say to any parent(s) let your child first education experience start with Montessori it is worth the money.

SimmK9, Boston

For preschool I would do whatever you are comfortable with, but do not feel like if you don't shell out the cash now your kid will be behind forever. Loving parents who take an interest in their child's education and read the kid a lot of books tend to do well in school regardless of the price tag on their preschool (if the kid even went to preschool). As a public school teacher I am begging you to consider public school when it comes time for you to look into kindergarten. Schools with strong parental involvement are great schools, but lately it feels like all the great parents choose private schools so the public school is not properly supported. It is also great for your kid, who gets a more diverse experience then is they were in a public school. The greatest lesson I learned in public school was this: everyone has a different amount of money. This money has very little to do with who they are.

I too struggled with this.  My daughter is 4 and will be starting Pre-K at a private Christian School in our neighborhood.  It is free because of our State's Lottery system.  I really am excited about her starting school because she has never been in a structured program before and I know she can work a bit on her social skills.  She tends to be shy in crowds but she gets that from her dad.  I wish you well in your choice.  Deciding where and how we educate our children is an important decision that I do not take lightly.

Either way, your kid will be fine.

The best lesson you can teach your son is allowing him to watch you make a decision and sharing with him why there are pros and cons for each decision.  

You don't have to do what "society" says you have to do to be a "good mother."  It's far more important to show your son that YOU can be happy and are just as good of a mother no matter happens, so he can learn HE can be too.

I think this is one of those decisions for your gut. What does your gut say to do -- and do you trust your gut? We moved to a suburb with an excellent public school system, and we had a plethora of preschool options. I'm not personally a fan of Montessori, and we couldn't afford it anyway, so I didn't look into it. My children went to preschool at our park district, and then my youngest also did a year of preschool at our church. Both programs, although very different, treated the children with respect and warmth, encouraged the children to explore and grow, and made my children excited and happy to go on to kindergarten. Each program cost the tiniest fraction of the Montessori school, but I don't see any behavioral or academic differences between the kids who went Montessori and the kids who didn't.

I think, as another poster said, your child at this point will mostly be the product of you, regardless of what type of preschool you choose. I think you're lucky you can consider Montessori, and I hope you appreciate that. But I don't think that alone decides for you or what you think people might say -- I think you need to feel this with your gut.

First, I want to start by saying that I attended public schools my entire life.  Next, I currently work part-time as a private preschool teacher for an adorable 2 1/2 year old little girl.  Her mother, father, and I are all having this same discussion now.  My boss feels her daughter needs preschool for the socialization. She's an only child and is also very shy too. You sound exactly like my boss, her husband, and I...all combined into one when you mentioned them being just babies, the possible sickness, Montessori concerns, and the cost too.

The 9k figure you mentioned sounds VERY familiar to me! I'm located in Chicago so the prices of preschools are in that range and higher.  The waiting lists are insane here in Chicago! I've seen and heard about women who are 7-8 months pregnant trying to get in on the application process early..here in Chicago! Don't beat yourself up for being able to AFFORD to spend the 9k on your child. Some parents spend even more and I'm sure you know this. :) You have to do what you feel is best for your son. My boss couldn't decide between a Montessori or regular preschool either so she went for several visits over a period for months to both of them and then made her final decision. She went back and forth for weeks before making the final decision. I also agree that you should base your decision not on what others will think or say, but what you feel is right for your child. Good luck with whatever you decide.  

My sons went to Montessori - the younger just for preschool and the older through 2nd grade.  We have homeschooled our boys for the last 5 years since leaving Montessori.  Looking back, I'm not as impressed with Montessori as I was when we first started.  Most of Maria Montessori's methods were developed to help underpriveleged kids who had been labeled retarded master basic skills which other children learned naturally in the home.  They have a rather elaborate multi-step method for teaching kids to pour water from a pitcher into a cup, for example.  

At the elementary level, they had my son doing a lot of drawing and copy work that he just wasn't ready for due to slow fine motor skill development (which is normal for a boy).  The result was that I had to re-teach him how to make his letters because he had picked up bad habits from doing something he wasn't ready to do.  I also felt that they had allowed him to under perform and not appropriately pushed him to take on more challenging materials.  

That said however, I still like the fact that they let the kids self-direct like actual human beings.  And they were more responsive to differences in style than most other educational settings are.  

My daughter is now 3 and I think we will send her to preschool part time, simply because I think she would really enjoy it.  However, it won't be Montessori and it certainly won't be more than 2, maybe 3 times a week for a couple of hours.  

My only recommendation would be not to hesitate to protect your little boy.  As a culture, we're not very kind to our little boys these days and we're not as tolerant of their loud-talking, squirming enthusiasm as we should be.  If he's well suited to a more structured environment, that's cool.  But if he's going to struggle and chafe at it, don't put him into a situation that will require him to turn on himself in order to conform at such a young age.  We have 18 years or so to get our kids ready to succeed in the real world.  There's plenty of time to practice, so don't be pressured into feeling like you have to start now if y'all aren't ready.  If you do nothing but read with him, talk with him, let him follow you around the house and "help" with the chores in between playing with cars and blocks for a little while longer, he'll still be well prepared.

Artistaatheart, were you aware that public schools are not available for three year olds in the United States?  In nearly all states, parents are on their own until the child is at least five years old.

My Two Cents:  I am a former educator who took time away from work for five years to stay at home.  I decided about a year after my first child was born to go with her flow.  She has a very investigative personality, so when she had an interest I ran with it.  She began asking me to identify words at the age of two.  I quickly began showing her three and four letter words periodically throughout the week.  She is five and is reading.  She expressed an interest in counting.  I began integrating counting into our every day lives.  It was simple.  We counted the stairs when we walked up or down.  We counted the number of M&M's she was allowed to eat.  My husband, the math teacher, started on subtraction and addition.  She can now subtract and add in her head.  Whatever she wanted to understand, I accommodated her.  Even if she wanted to know where babies came from, I presented to her in two year old verbiage.  We are using the same techniques with the second child.  As she asks questions, we move to foster that educational opportunity.  So I said all this to say what:  You know your child.  You have seen his strengths and areas of needed improvement.  Go with your gut.  If Montessori appeals to you, then try it.  You can always move him if you find that it wasn't your cup of tea.  If you have the time and patients, and want to teach him at home, then do that.  Trust yourself.  I know that my second daughter was, in my opinion, struggling with speaking.  A few months after preschool started that was remedied, so I was glad we placed her in pre-school.  The other reason I chose to put my girls in preschool is because they needed it, ok me too.  They were getting bored with mommy.  I felt they needed the socialization skills.  And yes they had other opportunities through dance, art, and music classes, but it wasn't enough.  Preschool has been a win for us.  GO WITH YOUR GUT AND TRUST YOURSELF!

I went to Montessori grades 1-3 and it was wonderful! I am so thankful my mother enrolled me.

It's such an accepting and nurturing environment. I learned things at Montessori (like exponential math) based on my brain and my curiosity, not based on the teacher, the rest of the class, or standardized tests.

The downside was that when I transferred to public school, I had a very difficult time adjusting to the environment. I hated it. The standard public school learning process is about teaching kids to follow authority and not about teaching kids to think. I had a terrible time and ultimately I never adjusted and eventually dropped out/ tested out of high school.

But on the plus side, I went to college :)

If you can afford it, I think Montessori is the way to go. That said, there are a variety of Montessori schools and some are better than others.

I think, if your boy is hugging and thanking a teacher for a nice visit without prompting, he'll cruise wherever he's at. In my opinion it's not about the program, it's about the teachers and the children and their chemistry. I was seduced by the Montessori environment and my son kind of had a crummy year, but he survived it just fine and now he's flying through the first grade at a public school with a beloved teacher everybody told me didn't understand boys... you just never know. Listen to your child day after day and he'll steer you right.

I had the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom, but I sent my daughter to a full-day preschool starting when she was two years old.  I wanted her to have the sand-table and the quiet room and an environment that was just the right size for her, and because she was an only child, I wanted her to figure out how to deal with other kids.  

My daughter is 16 now and actually remembers her preschool experiences, starting when she was about 3 or 4.   She went to the same preschool for three years and has very fond memories of the school, the tables and chairs, the playground and costume box, and especially the kids she met and loved.  She formed close attachments and had some of the best experiences of her life in those years.  We moved away when she was 5, and she was heartbroken; she still talks about the kids she went to preschool with.

I don't think the key is preschool, necessaril -- the key is creating an environment where the same kids meet every day or several times a week and get to know each other.  You could just find two or three kids near your kid's age, put them near each other for a couple hours a day, and give enough structure and shape to their day that they can engage with each other and then separate for awhile.  Do that for four hours a day, a couple times a week, for a few years, in any environment -- preschool or at home -- and the kids will bond with each other and form their own little culture.  

No matter how committed and professional a parent is, even really little kids have incredible amounts of ridiculous fun with other kids that they just can't have with adults.   It's hard to support those kinds of relationships outside of preschool.