Your story is quite interesting. As for me, I went the traditional route and named my son after my husband's father and my father -- John Anthony.  My daughter I named her Christina because she was born during Christmas.  I wish I was brave enough to move out of the traditional naming.

I can so relate to this blog because the name issue was drama in my household. My partner wanted us to go back to our african roots and find a name that was used in the region of Africa that we were taken from.  I was hesitant at first because I did not want him to be stimatized by his name so as we went thru hundreds of names I said no to most of them that sounds "too african".  

My mother on the other hand, wanted me to name him David after my brother who died of leukemia at 30yrs old. But he did not approve of my relationship so why would I give him that honor?

Then I heard the name Azaan and I fell in love with it. The name means strength which I needed during this time and I said yes. I also agreed to the second name  Kikao which means way of life. Both are Swahili names-words so we had accomplished our goal.

So far everyone loves his name Azaan-Kikao and when we are in our neighborhood in Koreatown, LA ,we call him Kikao (which sounds more Asian to some and its my partner's preferred choice) around my family we call him Azaan (easier for them to pronounce).

I wish that everyone got the freedom to choose their child's name based on their personal desires, not religion, family or whatever guilt that drives so many of us.

I am glad that I stayed the course and I am very happy with our choices. I hope he grows up to be very proud of his name as well.

We named our son Malcolm Madiba; Malcolm after Malcolm X and Madiba, Nelson Mandela's honorary title and nickname. It's a heavy name to saddle a child with, but we hope he grows into it. We certainly plan to teach him all that it means. Malcolm we chose, most of all, because of Malcolm X's, integrity, commitment to justice, and ability to continually transform himself as he gained life experience. Madiba we chose for about the same reasons, but also because we wanted our son to feel connected to social justice struggles beyond the United States. We want him to think of his role in the world as both local and global and to be able to link the two. Also, both of these men exemplify, in our minds, the ability to transcend anger at injustice and to arrive at a place where you can forgive and take leadership in advocating for a common humanity. Malcolm X is not typically seen this way, but those who have investigated his life more thoroughly know it to be so. And, of course, Mandela is famous for it.

We named our first child Abby Elizabeth, using my mother's initials and also honoring my sister-in-law. Instead of feeling restricted to family names, or guilted into family names, we felt a love and continuation of family by looking at family names and thinking about what those people mean to us. We named our second child (Katharine Casey) after two woman we love and admire, one of whom is my mother-in-law. Funnily, me the Polish Jew wanted to choose really old Irish names, since my husband's lineage is Irish, but he just wasn't interested in Clogadh or Grainne. He wanted names that blended our families, and I love that the girls feel lucky to share names with people they love.

One more comment -- I guess I feel sad when you write that you are "compelled" to explain your son's name. Why does it matter to anyone but you and your son? (And Glen.) Why does it matter to you so much that you want everyone clear on exactly what the name means?

Our daughter's first name is Zenzele, which is from southern Africa and means "she does it for herself."  She lives up to it every day. Her middle name is Rebekah, for my maternal grandmother. Her name was initially spelled that way, but when she began attending school in the 1910's, it was changed by a teacher because colored girls did not spell their names that way. My daughter is very similar to my grandmother and her name honors that.

Jackson, eh

As in Jackson, MS I presume. Okay, so I checked it out. That makes you a straight up homegirl.

Wow, I wonder if you spent much time in North Jackson. But actually the name Jackson comes from President Andrew Jackson, not Stonewall, while a Tennessean, he predates the Confederacy.

Your comment about how you explain Tenzin's name to everyone you meet--and how you want people to know that it isn't an African name--made me wince (and also made me want to give you a big hug).

I agree with growth12...that comment on too "African-sounding" was very sad.

My kids names came from different places.  My daughter (Ilia) was named for an awesome character in a sci-fi book we read while I was pregnant with her.  The name is actually a boy's name, and popular among Jews and Russians/Eastern Europeans.  Unfortunately we also gave her the middle name after a character from Excalibur so her name sounds like Leia Organa, which gives her a Star Wars feel...good thing she loves the movies.  My son (Alton) is named after a reggae singer and the middle name is from my husband's father who passed away a long time ago.  

Im am not a person with a nam with no purpose. My name is Karim Akande Kehinde Julian Carr Nelson. when i was a child it bothered me some that i had a name that was so different than my friends, BUT i was always told what my name meant and THAT meant all the difference in the World. Karim Akande Kehinde: I am the kind and gentle one that was last born and who brings joy into the house. Julian Carr Nelson: is my fathers name that was also given to me. I always knew and it has always given me power. I am not Kareem, Karheim, Karreem, Kharrem or any othe Americanized form I am Karim as it is the Arab and as well as Africa. As a person who was named for something that means something tangible and recognizable i can attest to how much it means to the person. My mother and i often call each other when we come across something particulary silly, like (this is not a joke: Frukisha)  do believe that the practice of thrown together names is rooted in ignorance and the need to feel or appear to be attached to something bigger and maybe even historic, while not possesing the knowledge needed to do so, leaves our children at a disadvantage. We have adopted names that mean nothing and stand for nothing and it shows. Many of us dont carry family names that induce pride because of absent parents on either side and we compound this by given children names that they damn near have to live down. There are many things we as black folks have to contend with as from within, external and so on, we can help our children by giving them names that at the very least shows that more thought was put into naming them, than went into having them. I know that harsh but its true. ALSO: becoming famous does not exclude you from the  Silly group. Beyonce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way. Im SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO aware that to some people my name is as silly as the rest, my pint being, that even given that, i can tell you where it came from and its more than, my grandaddys first three letters and grandmommas last three.

Karim J. Nelson

Parents who burden their children with these "unique" names are so self-absorbed - I,I,I, me,me,me. They never apparently give the slightest consideration of how that name impacts their child... the untold giggles as a teacher or another student fumbles the pronunciation, the stupid rhymes kids make up. Scooter Libby hates his first name so much he rather be know as "Scooter" even in legal briefs and official documents. I say if you think Tenzin is such a great name, why do you change YOUR name to it!

I gave my child a "resume name".  No matter how meaningful the name is to you, people, unfortunately, assign meanings to a name belonging to a person whom they don't know.  When a pile of resumes is sitting on a recruiter's desk, I don't want hers to be tossed aside because the busy recruiter couldn't bother with the extra five seconds to figure out how to pronounce her name.   I don't her want to be dismissed with a casual remark:  hippie, ghetto, weird, is she legal?, space cadet, etc.  (And, don't act like people don't do it.  They do and you probably do sometimes too.)

Some may feel that it may limit your naming creativity, but I didn't find it limiting at all.  We had the additional factor that my husband and I from different countries and we live in a third country.  We chose a name that works in all three cultures.  She likes her name and so do we.  She has yet to be teased or dismissed because of her name.

response to De Hill Man:

Actually, Beyonce's maternal relatives are of Louisiana creole heritage and "Beyonce"  is her mother's maiden name, not some random word or combination of names that her parents made up.

responding to Helle:

Thank you for the information.

Responce to Helle

Actually Tina Knowles maiden name is Beyince, not Beyonce.

I went by the principle of not making it harder than necessary for the kid to get through fifth grade. "Tenzin"? I don't know. I guess if your kid's at a hippie school, he'll be OK. But God help him if he's surrounded with Ricks and Dannys and Erics and Pats. He's got a few fistfights coming his way.

I'm black; my wife's Swedish (that makes our kid Scandinubian); I wanted to name our boy Lars. She thought I was making fun of Swedes, so she wanted something more Ebonic, the witch. We settled on Ethan; we live in Massachusetts and it's a good New England name. The worst nickname it makes is Heathen, which was my second name choice anyway. My only other rule was nothing heroic; the kid ought to have a chance to grow into his name fairly early.

I am black and my husband is white.  When I told people that we were naming our older daughter "Hannah", I got so much flack from my relatives it was unreal!  They wanted to know why we chose such a "white" name.  Then along came daughter #2 and we named her Rebekah.  Do you know that one of my maternity nurses, an older black lady, actually THANKED ME when I told her the name?  She told me that I was giving my daughter a name that her teachers could spell.  I, like another person who posted, gave my girls “resume” names.  My own ethnic name didn’t hinder me from getting accepted to an Ivy League university, but it certainly created a picture of what I looked like before I got to the door.  I know it sounds bad.  But this is the real world and my daughters and I have to live in it.

I named my daughter Tova after my best friend whose Hebrew name is Tova. She may be the only black Tova. She may be the only Tova in Wisconsin. But the name is pretty and easy to spell. It means good, which she usually lives up to. When she was at camp all the kids went by nicknames, some of which were pretty stupid, who really wants to be called cheese? But Tova got to keep her name because it was unique and sits comfortably on her shoulders.

Just to be funny, I have a white sounding name (first and last), so my resume usually doesn't get tossed unless someone knows that my alma mater is an HBCU. But on to the subject at hand.  I'm all for names that have meaning, but significant meaning. As far as my attachment to my name, I don't have any due to the fact that my mother told me she was going to name me after my grandmother (a permutation of her name), but was convinced by a friend to use the female variation of the boy's name she picked out. Ever since I heard that, i've always felt less attached to my given name.

I think this is a great post--and something to think about. We, as blacks, quadroons, octoroons and the like, want to be treated fairly in this society. In order to do so, we must mainstream ourselves as much as possible--or appropriate other cultures that are deemed better than ours. I wish that more of us were like this writer--who is white. I guess we're in a somewhat regressive period, racially, and it's too much to hope for. Although I have a Gaelic name (which is equally troubling in that I grew up having to explain myself and my biracialness, over and over, which was the reason I was named as such), I am still not comfortable with the racism that lies at the bottom of the faux-African name controversy. It makes me deeply uncomfortable. Perhaps I'm in the minority on this in the Root universe. That's OK, I guess.

http://daisysdeadair.blogspot.com/2008/04/on-having-black-name.html

Why is it problematic for your child to be thought of as having a 'pseudo-African' name? Is it the 'pseudo' or the 'African' which is the problem? Your compulsion to meticulously explain that it is a Tibetan name would seem to suggest that it is the latter. If that is the case, things haven't moved on that much, have they? On the actual name you have chosen, firstly I would say it is a heavy burden for any small child to carry the name (and therefore weight) of such a well known public figure on his  shoulders. Your choice of name also borders on academic snobbery. Wouldn't an everyday name have sufficed? I think it is healthier to have a name upon which you can build your own stature and identity. And did you know that the Dalai Lama, along Margaret Thatcher, wanted the Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet not to be extradited to Spain on charges of genocide? Perhaps you might care to do some research, even just a basic internet search on this and also on how the Dalai Lama is funded and by whom. If you fight against violations of human rights then you fight against all forms of oppression, you cannot do dealings with the funding bodies which create such global suffering and injustice.  Think twice about giving such indepth explanations to the whole wide world, after all your son will have to live with his name, Not you.

The whole debate about what to name a (your) child is a very compelling one. Though there is no 'right' answer, I can empathize with your aversion to the 'pseudo-' part of 'pseudo-African'. Although it certainly won't win me any popularity contests (and admittedly isn't based on any 100 % rational guidelines), specific aspects of current child naming practice makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge.

I appreciate the fact that many parents view a child's name as a part of its legacy. Whether the name they choose is a tribute to a relative or someone they love and/or respect, whether it carries with it an meaning that they view as a motto for their child's lives, names function as a talisman. And like a talisman, they can have positive or negative effects.

If a child (or the parents) can tell me that his/her unusual name means "gazelles running across the savannah at sunset" more power to them. I'm willing to remember it, try to wrap my tongue around it, and pronounce it the way it's supposed to be pronounced. This goes for names from any culture or ethnicity.

My gray cells begin to grind to a screeching halt, however, when traditional names receive exotic 'alternative' spellings in order to make them seem more unique, babies are named after alcoholic beverages or automobiles brands the parents can't afford, or two letter from everybody's name are thrown into a linguistic pot and shaken, not stirred.

Having grown up with what was once a more unusual name myself, I am used to my name being mispronounced. But - personally - I wouldn't change it for a 'Susan' or 'Anne' - and chose a more symbolic name (Saskia) for our daughter, because I like the strength in both meaning and phonetics. Being a bi-cultural family means one side of the family (almost) always pronounces it wrong. My ex chose our son's name, which simply means the other side of the family gets a turn to mispronounce, too.