Marc,
I have been wanting to write you all day but I could not find the words. I am truly sad about Senator Kennedy's brain tumor diagnosis.
It took me a while to figure out why I was so sad. After all, he is a man who has led a full and long life. This is not like the Sean Bell murder, where a young man is shot down before he begins to fully live. Kennedy is well loved and well respected. He has helped shape the direction of his country during his lifetime. And he may yet do great things in the time he has left.
Even knowing all this I still feel sad. I thought maybe I was reacting to a growing sense of familiarity. I have been on the Obama-rally circuit and Kennedy has often been there; making impassioned and reasoned arguments for my candidate. Maybe I am feeling jolted because I shared an intimate arena with him and 10,000 other people, but I don't think so.
Maybe it's because the country is reflecting on and remembering the 40th anniversary of Robert Kennedy's assassination. I have read some brilliant and moving work about RFK in the past few weeks. Learning of Senator Kennedy's illness at this moment is especially bitter and difficult.
Then I realized that the diagnosis was hard for me to take because it is my greatest fear. I suspect many of us have a worst-case health scenario that we imagine. Professional athletes probably most fear paralysis. I have an irrational and constant terror of brain cancer. My relationship to my phsycial body is pretty distant and critical, but I am big friends with my mind. I am professor, a writer, let's face it, a nerd, and I want every shred of my right mind until the very end. Senator Kennedy is smart, strategic, astute, funny and quick. I am sad about the possiblity that his cancer may rob him of any part of the astonishing mind that so many have come to respect.
How about you Marc? What was your reaction to the news of Senator Kennedy's illness?
Melissa