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Posted Thursday, March 13, 2008 8:39 PM

Have you hugged a white woman today? [call]

melissa harrislacewell

Marc,

I took my mom to lunch. I bought my older sister a card.  I called a student I mentor closely.  I set a coffee date with one of my colleagues.  And I read a Joyce Carol Oates book today.  Why?  Because I had to remind myself that there are plenty of white women in my life whom I love and respoect. 

 Lately, Hillary Clinton, Gloria Steinem and Geraldine Ferraro have been made me forget. 

Steinem's silly, flat, decades-old assertion that it is harder to be a woman than to be black really ticks me off. It is as though she hasn't noticed that some of us are black AND women. Recognizing the continuing power of misogny and patriarchy does not mean you get to ignore the depth of white supremacy and racism.  Then Hillary wins Ohio by running a political ad that is little more than a "Birth of a Nation" remix.  This was a good reminder that white women have always been complicit in American racism.  Just when I thought it was over, Ferraro claims that being born black in America is a lucky draw and manages to cast a Harvard Law Review editor as an affirmative action candidate.  

I had to counter my growing anger, resentment and disaffection by spending time with the white women in my own life. It was a little race/gender immersion therapy to keep me from completely flipping out. 

 It helped me remember the hundreds of white women who have written to me during the course of this campaign to express their support for Obama and their disgust with Clinton's tactics. It reminded me of the thousands of white women who registered voters during Freedom Summer. It encouraged me to focus on the achievements of second wave feminism.  By the end of the day I almost rented Thelma and Louise.  Well...that might be too far, but I do feel a little better.

 How about you Marc, have you hugged a white woman today?

Melissa 

 

  

 

 

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Member Comments

Posted By: Kinsey (March 14, 2008 at 11:08 AM)

As a white woman, I am ashamed and sad by what Ferraro said and what Clinton is feeding into.  I was a strong Clinton supporter, naively hoping that Clinton and Obama would run together on that dream ticket.  As someone who does research on gender and racial inequality, with a particular focus on early childhood, I thought Clinton had more experience on issues related to childhood poverty, which would ameliorate the lives of all working people.  I also felt that early on, the sexism in the campaign was more sinister--the Clinton nutcracker, Edwards implying that Clinton's misty eyes made her incapable of leading... but now I am so, so sad that once again there are some White women in power, who are resorting to fear mongoring to win their case.  Blue-collar workers have lost their jobs in pennsylvania because of the search for corporate profits and for Ferraro to make the coded link between Obama as an affirmative action recipient just continues to put the White man's boot on the Black man's neck.  It's not affirmative action that has made (White) workers lose their jobs, it's the desire for profit by manufacturers.  That Clinton and her camp are hinting at this is so gross. I'm disgusted, I'm disappointed... I'm sorry to have had any part to play in it.  I no longer support Hillary Clinton.


Posted By: Marschallin (March 14, 2008 at 1:55 PM)

Like Kinsey, I am disgusted by Clinton's tactics, and irate at Ferraro's comments. I too am a white woman, and I have been behind Obama from day one, because I believe he is the right person at the right time for the tough job ahead.

Clinton throws around the word "experience" as if she owns it. The truth is, she is a bright woman who chose to put her career aside to satisfy her alpha male husband's thirst for power. And now she  seems to think she is entitled to the top job because of her sacrifices...

In addition to having solid ideas and the ability to implement change, Obama exults the multiculturalism so needed in a global society. He can help us embrace our differences rather than feel threatened by them.

This campaign has brought to light a schism between women--at least the white women I know: Those of us early supporters of Obama have been accused of betraying our gender--a narrow-minded, mean-spirited view of womanhood, and yet a pervasive one.

I am grateful to Melissa for her post today. We all gain so much when we break down barriers--particularly racial barriers. Melissa, here is my hug to you.


Posted By: conseula (March 14, 2008 at 3:00 PM)

I wish I had somethingmore intelligent and substantive to say than "Amen sister," but alas I don't.  You have articulated so well what I have been feeling lately, the effort I finding myself putting into remembering that I am not annoyed at all white woman, that alliances can and have and continue to be built, that it is possible to confront the ills of racism and sexism (and a host of other -isms) at the same time, that some of my best friends or white women.  But damn if it isn't hard to remember that these days.


Posted By: lalady (March 14, 2008 at 3:32 PM)

as a black woman and staunch obama supporter (funny how my support of him has become a vital part of my self-identity these days),  i have two white women whom i consider real friends.  one--like myself--is a fierce obama supporter (she and i canvassed our southern california neighborhoods before the disappointing primary...and, no, she still hasn't recovered from the results!).  the other is a generation older than i, a former coworker-turned-confidante; we have managed to successfully dodge the political yet palpably personal pink elephant in the room... and i suspect she supports hillary.  based on this suspicion, i have distanced myself from her.  i've cancelled our past couple of coffee dates; not bothered to return a few phone calls.  dr. lacewell's post reminds me that now is the time to have that conversation with my friend.  and although it promises to be uncomfortable, i hope it ends with a hug.


Posted By: malarcon (March 14, 2008 at 10:51 PM)

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2004280786_plunkhaun14.html

A great letter from a former Clinton supporter on this very issue. He's for Obama now.


Posted By: Inna (March 17, 2008 at 5:11 PM)

Feeling very conflicted here and I know this will be a little convoluted but here goes,

on the one hand - I feel like because being a black woman in america, particularly with regards to this campaign, time and space continuum, blah, blah, and the fact that we have to talk how we do about what and how things unfold in this country from our perspective, and in response to our world - both B&W, that we have to make it easy for white women, assure them somehow.  Let them know we are talking about a certain kind of white women.  All white women need to be able to talk about, hear and flinch at how I experience Hilary Clinton for instance and not be defensive, w/o me having to qualify, feel/be ugly or perform defensivly.

It's almost like you are responding to how sometimes white folks sic; white woman feel bad; b/c after all they are liberal and on "ourside", so we have to make them feel better about how we have to respond to things like the very live "depth of white supremacy and racism" that very often make us CRAZY and flip us out - make us forget we LOVE people.  Then on the OTHER hand, it sounds/feels slightly offensive and condescending to say "have you hugged a white woman today?" Also, are you saying your mama (and sis) are white and your anger and resentment at how people can be, i.e., white women(?)made you forget to remember you Love them(my inference, which you did not state)??!. A lot of black folk who work in close proximity but unfertile, so called predominantly "white" territory have this experience; professors, executives, personal assistants, military officers and I was gonna add office cleaners but ain't no black women hired to do these jobs much anymore, it's mostly white women and yeah on occasion I hug them. - but sometimes I hit them too because they need know about me and in most cases understand where I'm coming from - they and "we" are much more resilient than we give them credit for.

Then on the OTHER hand, it sounds/feels slightly offensive and condecending to say that


Posted By: kori (March 19, 2008 at 11:01 AM)

Dismantling a white mindset is a challenge few are willing to tackle. It is a task that seems to never end. Every aspect of one's being comes under scrutiny. Faith. Politics. Economics. Ethics. Family. Self. Once one truly understands the endemic nature of cultural supremacy/privilege, there's no turning back.

The floodgate of knowledge opens. Claims of innocence or ignorance no longer suffice. Benevolence appears tawdry.Those in America, born white and female must wrestle with the complexity of being groomed as both oppressor and oppressed. To separate from tangled values and views of kin and community is a lonely journey, to be sure. Its reassuring to discover that beyond the dark abyss lies a freedom of soul and spirit quite unimagined by those who remain attached to limiting self definitions.


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