I COMPLETELY agree with you. I believe that the state of the Black man and the process at which he has arrived there is so much more complex then single-parent, female headed families. I believe that as humans we want to find the most sensable, one-dimensional answer to life's questions. We want to be able to point the finger of blame to one thing. Well, in the case of the black man, and one might even go ahead and include the entire community, our oppression is systematic in nature and is so much bigger than our own individual lives. All the variables you mentioned such as the poor educational system in this country have been orchestrated to keep the Black man in his place...at the bottom.

Although Black men could benefit from having a positive role model, either biological father or mentor, the issues of incarceration are much bigger than only having a mother in the home. As a mother of a brown boy approaching the age of 2, I wonder how I can help him beat the odds. I don't believe that staying with my husband so that he can have a father in the home is the only way. I believe that he needs to educated on the ills of this society that seek to keep him in a subordinate, suppressed and oppressed position.

I'm a single AA male 46 yrs old who made a choice to raise a child who was not biologically mine. I've been a part of his life since he's been 1 month old and although my relationship with his mother only lasted the first two years of his life, I have been truly blessed to see him grow into a man (he'll be 19 in June). Ididn't have any support from the Gov't, I just thought it was the right thing to do under the circumstances. I grew up in a working class neighborhood in 60's and this is what I seen, working people making sacrafices that benefitted other people (true success). His mother has been truly thankful to me for this. He's currently working and going to school and I see the difference everyday.  It's unbelievable the potential that our young AA males have when supported be a loving father commited to their developement.  Fatherhood saves lives..

Keith,

I agree that that there is more to this dillema than single parent homes. But I also agree that one of the biggest factors in this equation is the lack of father figures or firm disciplinarians. Male role models are great for young men, but they don't substitute for the strong hand of a father. That's certainly not to denigrate the role of mothers. But after a certain age, many young men don't have the same physical respect for mom that they have for dad. I know this from the way my own children respond to me and how they respond to their mother. The same was true for me growing up.Having a strong male figure in the home is particularly important for black youngsters since their main source of pride is often their toughness. My father was certainly no role model, but he was there both to love me and to discipline me. Being a good father is really not so complicated. Just being there is often enough.

Of course, many of the issues facing black youngsters are connected. A better question is why is there a dearth of fathers in many black families. Take care.

Siddiq

I agree with you as well.  I too believe in the complicated nature of black manhood within an extremely complicated American culture and society.  

My point about single-parent households is that "absent second parents" are a major factor  increasing the complications already on-going in African American life.  What I didn't articulate very well last Saturday evening was that I'm not interested in the moral factors of parenting, I'm interested in the economical and (contingent) emotional ones.   Black men who are not or cannot be economically and emotionally responsible to their children often put those kids at a major disadvantage in their movement into the mainstream of American life.

I am not an absolutist: People who've been raised by single parents can become extremely successful.  People who've been raised by two married parents can be complete ***-ups.  I never made any argument against single parent households.  I never made any arguments in support of marriage.  Or that children can only be raised up in two parent settings.  I never claimed that a deadbeat parent in the house with a good one was better than one good parent alone.  

What I have tried to argue is that there are real economic advantages when one is born to two good parents (married or not) earning decent wages, as opposed to one good parent earning wages.  Even if the parents split but  remain emotionally and economically responsible to their offspring, this seems like an advantage for the child not an adherence to some bland status quo about marital or familial arrangements.  But the reality is that when black men and women split up (if they had established a relationship at all), the men do not maintain their responsibilities.  Often the economic disadvantages of one income propel black mothers and their children into deep complications that even good parenting, as such, cannot alleviate the pressures of those disadvantages.  

Of course, parenting alone cannot save anyone from the powerful realities of contemporary human experience in America.  But I must also admit that when I examine African American lives closely, putting dubious statistics aside, and judge just from experiences, the people who often have the most difficulties eluding the traps set up against them come from familial circumstances challenged by the absence of an emotionally and economically responsible second parent.